I'm on a see food diet- it consists of fish and molluscs. sea*

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How many friends does it take to catch an owl? One because he was a bird catcher.

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Q: What do you get when you cross an alcoholic and a sex addict? A: A baby

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wHY DIDN'T THE HORSE FINISH COLLEGE? HIS GRANT RAN OUT AN HE COULDN'T GET ANOTHER STUDENT LOAN.

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hi

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What did jonah say to your mum ... Nothing jonah is your mum

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There once was a boy. On his birthday, he got a small puppy. The puppy was white and had big eyes. Boy loved his puppy and the puppy loved the boy.

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What's the difference between a pile of dead babies and a shiny new Cadillac? I don't have a shiny new Cadillac in my garage.

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What do you call two Mexicans playing basketball? A typical out-door activity.

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mom and dad went into the bedroom after a long day at work the fell asleep

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Whats worse than bitting into a apple and finding a worm? Being the worm who just lost nearly half his whole house because some jerk decided to eat an apple on the ground, whom after eating the apple destroyed the worms self-esteem by making the comparison to the worse thing possible. Or being raped by Zeus in the form of a worm.

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Jesus walks into a hotel, slams four nails down on the counter, and says, "Put me up for the night!" The concierge looks at him and says, "You're not Jesus. Jesus was brutally murdered approximately 1,970 years ago. And although I may not be a believer, his teachings have brought comfort and solace to millions of people around the world. Nor do we accept nails as payment. Please remove yourself from the premises or I will call security."

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What do you call a black man with a gun? Officer.

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... Chan chan

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Three tomatoes were walking down the street, a daddy, a mummy and a baby and...wait did I say tomatoes, sorry, I meant people.

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a blond and a brunet jump of a bridge who hits the ground first ....... the brunet because the blond has to ask for directions

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you know why people who read anti-jokes are stupid? i just had the greatest sex ever!!

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Q-how did the blind man cross the road? A-with a guide dog

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Yo mamma so fat not even Dora can explore her

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Q: What's the capital of Ohio A: O

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I walked into the cactus store. The clerk there was being mean so I called him a "prick". ...........

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Optimist: The glass is half full. Pessimist: The glass is half empty. Realist: Find something better to do than talk about a glass.

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An Irishman walked into a bar, except he would call it a pub, because there are slight differences in vocabulary in different regions, 37 minutes later he walked home safely, fed his cat, read some pages of a book he had been reading, turned the light off and went to bed.

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Why did little Suzie spill her drink? Since birth she has lacked a jaw

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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