What do you get when you cross scabies with genital warts? Krusty Krabs.

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What's black and has a beary taste? A black bear.

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What did the bird say on twitter? Tweet tweet.

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what did the little boy get from santa claus on christmas? nothing santa isnt real

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How do you do to stop a baby who is circling? You nail his other feet.

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A man agreed with a camel. The camel didn't agree. ... (This joke does only make sense in the Dutch language.)

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whats not funny and has access to a computer and reasonable internet? Me

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Roses Are Red I Have A Phone Nobody Txts Me Forever Alone

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What's green and would kill you if it fell on you? A golf course

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Your mom is so old, that she should probably up her B-12 intake to avoid sickness.

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What doesn't kill you makes you stronger! Wrong. What doesn't kill you could leave you in a parapledgic state.

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Yo momma's so fat that all the children within a close proximity of your home think that your mother is a very large woman.

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what did the guy say when his partner took a poop on his chest? It was unnecessary for you to deficate onto my chest. In no way at all was that sexually stimulating, and i shall consider seeking out a new partner.

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Why didn't the woman need a watch? Because she had both her hands amputated after battling diabetes.

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Hey wanna hear joke? ........ yeah .......me too

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why can stevie wonder drive? He's blind

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Why was the woman in the kitchen? She came in to give her husband, who was washing the dishes, a kiss before she went to bed early so she could be well rested and get up on time to make the 45 minute commute to the hospital where she worked as a neurosurgeon the next morning.

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Your mom's your dad's wife. Except when she's not.

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Why did the blind man die? He had eye surgery and the doctor told him when he first opened his eyes there would be a very bright light, turns out he also had alzheimers and wandered onto the train tracks

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A man walks into a psychiatrists office with a banana in his ear. The psychiatrist says, why do you have that banana in your ear. The man says, "What?" The psychiatrist says, "I said, 'Why do you have that banana in your ear?" The man says, "What?" The psychiatrist shouts, "I SAID, WHY DO YOU HAVE THAT BANANA IN YOUR EAR?" The man says, "Sorry, I can't hear you, I'm deaf." (props- Marty Smith)

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Roses were red Violets were blue Until the Fire nation attacked Now it's all black

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What do you say to a friend named Alex? The Game

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What is the difference between you and a brick? A brick gets laid.

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Why was six afraid of seven? Back in middle school, they were both friends. They hung out every day and always had the best fun. It wasn't until their baseball team made it to the junior championship. That was when seven started doping for better strength and endurance for the game. Sevens family and friends (Especially six,) Had started to notice a change in sevens behavior and he seemed more distant from any social relationships with others. Seven began to become angry and self centered and only seemed to be focused on the game. Seven found out that Six knew that he was doping and fought him and brutally injured Six. Seven was then found out by the coaches and was kicked off the team. Seven, knowing that he had ruined his whole life, Shot himself with his dads .38 Revolver.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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