A shark ate your mom

Dog walks into a bar Asked for a hard cider Got it

What's brown and smells like shit? The rapidly decaying bodies of several dead chipmunks.

What trees do fortune tellers look at? Whichever variety of species are indigenous to where they live.

What's nice and looks like a rat? Ryan Kavanagh, I lied about the nice part

Whats worse than it raining on your birthday? 911

What is worse then having no dad? Russian dad that hates you a lot and wishes you drawn in vodka.

Whats green and will kill you if it falls out of a tree? A pool table

Were can you find a bag of meth? A drug dealer

Why is little johnny sad? He won the lottery but then found out the next day he had cancer and cried in a corner.

Q: What has 2 eyes and 2 halves of pigs' snout? A: Two pigs peeking around a corner.

HEY!

Little kid asks his mom: "Why do zombies eat people?" His mom says: "Becasue honey, your MEAT"

What is the oppisite of water? Dry!

How do you make a bull angry? Light it on fire

Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 was a serial rapist.

How many turrets patients does it take to screw in a light bulb? Cocksucker!!

What happened after the man with no arms and legs lost his keys? He called the police.

Roses are red, Violets are blue. Sugar is sweet, And so is she.

*knock knock* *knock knock * ? ? The man didnt answer because he died of a stroke

what did the iphone say to the galagy s3? nothing they are phones.

i am a slasher, a slasher of prices to get to the other side. poop goo goo gaga

Zafarfanugen the third: Why did the chicken cross the road? Bob: Who cares about some dumb chicken crossing the road! I am more interested in why three generations of your family would continually use such a ridiculous name!

Why is my room black and white? Because your in a black and white movie.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...