roses are red violets are blue my dick hurts blue waffles

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A monkfish walks into a bar... The world blew up

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I put children on a leash and store them under my bed. I feed them bird food and they drink eachothers urine.

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A man walks into a Norfolk pub. The landlord (not being very worldly) notices he is of Middle Eastern descent and asks "are you Bin Laden"? To this the man replies "No I bin Swaffham". (Needs to be said in Norfolk accent)

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What do you call two black men screaming as loud as they can? Scared

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Knock knock Shut up

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What do you get when you mix Obama and Chief Keef? OBLLAMA

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whats worse than a baby in a dumpster? A baby in ten dumpsters.

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What is yellow, has wheels, and lays on it's back? A school bus after a traffic accident

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What did Batman tell Robin before he entered the batmobile? Robin, I had sex with your mother this last Thursday.

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Why did the kid trip over the rock? Because he was diagnosed with serious autism, and might die soon.

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What's white and is your slave? Your computer.

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Why couldn't the Canadian taste the maple syrup? Because someone cut off his tongue. -BLLJ

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Why are Germans good at soccer The Holocaust.

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The sentence at the bottom is true. The sentence at the top is false.

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You are walking down the street. You see 3 black people and you don't talk to them because they are complete strangers.

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Knock Knock Who's there? My fist

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Why was the chipmunk watching TV? Because a new Family Guy was on.

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- Mom, you have a banana in you ear. - Son I can't hear you, I have banana in my ear.

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Why did the black man cross the road? Because he lived an worked on opposite sides of the road, and so consequently needed to cross the road to work, and provide an income for his family, so they could have fresh food, clean water, and have money to pay the bills such as the mortgage so they didnt become poor and homeless, which would inevitably lead to illness and an early death for them all.

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What is Arnold Schwarzenegger's favorite lollipop? Choppa Chups.

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Why didnt little Timmy come home? He was abducted into slavery.

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Two Gay Men Walk Into a Bar, Not Just Any Bar...... a Sports Bar and Enjoy a nice cold Beer with their Heterosexual friends while watching the super bowl. They both go in the back room, where it is dark, together........ and they call for the manager to find out where the chef is so they can tie him down..... and smother him....... in questions concerning the size of his....... buffalo wings stop judging people you ass.

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What do you call a kid with down syndrome and no arms? Whatever his name is.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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