Q. Why was six afraid of seven? A. Because seven raped a three year-old child.

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What's worse than having cancer? Two people having cancer

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Tom and Ralph are In a verbal scuffle. Tom: your adopted ralf! Ralph: yes! Now I have lesser chance of high blood pressure!

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What do we call the science of classifying living things? Racism

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What happened when the little girl said Bloody Mary 3 times in the dark? - She got her head smashed in the mirror, all of her intestines were neatly ripped out and was stabbed to death with No.2 mechanical pencils. Then her parents came home from dinner to find their daughter brutally killed in her own room. They notified police, opened a case and gave up after 12 years of searching for her killer. Both parents cried for the amount of years their daughter had been gone and they both decided to kill each other. The father raped the mom while slitting the back of her neck that led to her head being detached. Then the father left his pick up truck running and through his head toward the engine, which didn't really work. So he went back inside and watched Three and A Half Men.

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What's endangered like the Spotted Owl? A Cancer patient.

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Harry to Voldemort: Your mother is so fat, her patronus is a cake!

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Q:What's worst than reading a bad joke? A: Reading a joke on anti-joke and the person who posted the joke obviously doesn't get how a anti-joke works. For example... read this again ^^

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What's the difference between a duck? A toothbrush, because a car only has four doors!

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A mormon walks into a bar. The Bartender says "What can I get you" The Mormon says "Sparkling Water please. In my religion we don't drink alcohol."

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Why did Hitler kill so many Jews? Because he didn't like them.

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Why did Shrek eat the onions? Anyone who has seen the Shrek films would know that Shrek never mentions anything about eating onions. In the first movie, Shrek and donkey have a conversation in which he compares himself to an onion, but the scene lasts maybe a minute and never again does Shrek mention onions in any way, shape, or form. For whatever reason, this one scene has turned onions into the strongest signature icon associated with Shrek.

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Why did Kristi drop her chap-stick? Kristi was of the many children held in hostage of the Jewish heritage during the times of Hitler's wrath. At the Concentration camps they were not given the opportunity to maintain a healthy, average diet thus decreasing her body strength. No longer could Kristi hold her chap-stick - alas her frail little fingers slowly released the cylinder shaped tube and hopelessly watched it hit the ground. As it hit the ground, a cloud of dust swept over Kristi's body. At the same time Kristi was taking a big whiff of fresh air (just kidding, the air at concentration camps were not fresh - it reeked of acid) she accidentally inhaled the dirt which fled through her body and made her faint. She woke up and it was a dream, lol.

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what du u call a aplle raisni in the hotr sun? graep duahahahahahahejejejejejejahahahejejejwyan

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Roses are red, Violets are red, Trees are red, Bushes are red, Oh shit, my garden is on fire

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A man walks into a bar, he says ouch.

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How do you get Vladamir Putin to smile? You tickle him.

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why didnt the kid get anything for christmas? santa exploded

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wat is the name of a girl u can play connect the dots on her face laurie pisciotta

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Eating the worm

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what do you call a cow on a rollercoaster? a very dangerous and unlikely event

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How did I do in the running events? Not that good, I'm a paraplegic.

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why couldnt james zatts swim? he was half black

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What did one muffin in an oven say to another muffin? Nothing, muffins are inanimate objects thus incapable of sppech.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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