A man with a broken arm is sitting in a hospital. He says, "Doctor, when my arm heals, will I be able to play the violin?" The doctor says, "Yes, with proper medical attention and rest, you will be able to." The man says, "That's great! Before I broke my arm, I really enjoyed playing the violin."

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A white guy, a black guy, an Asian guy, and a Hispanic guy walks into a bar. The white guy orders a beer, the black guy orders a shot of vodka, the Asian guy orders a sake, and the Hispanic guy orders a shot of tequila. They were drinking and having a great time.

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If two blondes had a kid it would probably be a blonde because two recessive chromosomes have a higher chance of showing than one dominant gene.

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A little girl was curious about where people come from so she asked a very controversial question. Girl goes up to her mother and ask "Mommy, where do babies come from?" Mother replies "Ask daddy." Girl says "Daddy, where do babies come from?" Father replies "Ask the dog." Girl then goes up to her dog and says "Doggy, where do babies come from?" The dog doesn't reply because it's a dog.

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Why did the first monkey fall out of the tree It was dead Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree He was stapled to the first monkey Why did the refridgerator fall out of the tree? its a refridgerator Why did the third monkey jump out of the tree It thought it was a game

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I always like to pack a second pair of pants, because if there's one thing my mother ever said to me it was 'please, I'm begging you - don't put me in a home.'

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Why was Six afraid of Seven? Seven was in a horrible car accident recently and became very disfigured. He didn't tell Six, so the initial shock of seeing him for the first time was quite jarring for Six. Seven has had multiple surgeries since and, once the swelling recedes, he should look much better. It will still hurt for him to chew though.

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A. THERE'S SOMETHING ON YOUR FACE B. WHAT?!? *PUNCH* A. IT WAS PAINNNNNNNNN

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Two Muffins in an oven One muffin looks at the other muffin and says: "Oohhhh it's hot in here!". Then the other muffin says: "Oohhhh a talking muffin!"

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There were two muffins in an oven. They were forgotten about by the baker so they cried, caught fire, burned to death, and formed a medium-sized pile of ashes.

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i told my parents that i was having friends come over my dad said great my mom said great so i said great

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Why did the first monkey fall out of the tree? He died! Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? He was attached to the first! Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? He thought it was a game! Why did the fridge fall out of the tree? The branch broke! Why did Sally fall off her bike? She got hit by three monkeys and a fridge!

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Why did the heroin addict get staff infection? His skin broke open multiple times without proper cleansing.

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there was a pre school teacher and he told the children to draw a squirell. One boy breaks into tears because his entire family was slaughtered by a pack of squirrels. This upset the teacher

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What do an octopus and a cat have in common? They are both multicellular organisms that are living creatures, and therefore are both sentient and can perform simple tasks and make simple decisions.

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Q: whats white and if it falls out of a tree it will kill you A:a fridge

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What did one lawyer say to the other lawyer? I'm sleeping with your wife

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whats deead and gone lewis`s dog. well now it is

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding two worms

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How long is a china man?

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A black woman was filling out forms at the welfare office. Under "Number of children," she wrote "10," and where it said "List names of children," she wrote "Leroy." When she handed in the form, the woman behind the desk pointed out: "Now here where it says "List names of children," you're supposed to write the names of each one of your children." "Dey all named Leroy," said the black woman. "That's very unusual. When you call them, how do they know which one you want?" asked the welfare worker. The Black woman said, "Oh, den I uses the middle names."

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If somebody chucks skittles at you saying taste the frickin rainbow Run over them with a car and say "NationWide is on your side!!! ????

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ROSES ARE RED FRIENDS ARE FRIENDS, NO MUTUAL FRIEND, WHO THE FUCK ARE YOU TRYING TO ADD ME ON FACEBOOK BITCH!

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A woman went outside for some fresh air.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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