What did the homeless man say to his family? Nothing. His family left him after he lost his job.

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why did the kid drop his toy? a dog was ripping out his throat

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What's the difference between oreos and your opinion? I asked for your opinion.

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Horse walks into a bar and the bartender says why the long face. The horse unable to understand English shits on the floor and leaves

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Me - "Wanna hear something that will make me laugh?" *giggles* friend - "Sure." teehee if anyone gets it.

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A black man and a mexican are in a car. Whos driving? The cop. The two men were best friends who had taken off from their law firm. The mexican, Alex, had recently gone through a divorce and John decided to take him on a trip backpacking across Europe. Rain had suddenly come upon them and a passing off-duty police officer had picked them up and took them to a nearby hotel. The three men had drinks and the friends had a wonderful time. But Alex never got over Jenny leaving him. 3 months after their return John found him dead in his home by auto-erotic asphyxiation.

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You are in an airplane, and you have 500 bricks. You throw one out the door. How many do you have? 499. What are the 3 steps to putting an elephant in a fridge? 1-open the door,2-put the elephant in,3-close the door. How do you put a giraffe in the fridge? You open the door, take the elephant out, put the giraffe in, and shut the door. The lion king is having a party for all the animals… which one didn't go? The giraffe, it's in the fridge. An old lady is trying to cross an alligator infested river. She makes it over. How? The alligators are at the party. She dies anyway. How? She gets hit by the brick you threw out of the window.

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what did the boy with no arms get for easter? a cane.

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Knock Knock I'm sorry but the new don't ask don't tell laws require me to not answer but do feel free to come in for some tea.

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what do you call 69 babies in one room? a room full of babies

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Who would win Coolio or Vannlia Ice? nieth because Chuck Norris did a round house kick.

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LeBron James proposes. So what does he put on the girls finger? Ben L.

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ur gey

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How many arabs does it take to screw in a light bulb? One. We also have a black president.

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i hate black people

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Kevin: Why can't you hear a pterodactyl urinate? Bob: Because it's extinct? Kevin: No you idiot! The P is silent! Pterodactyl: RAARRGHH! (eats Bob)

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Whats black, white and dusty? A nuns fan-y because it never gets used

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What the difference between a rabbit an a eagle? They both fly except for the rabbit

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Whats the saddest part about the sandy hook shooting? There were still bullets in the clip... Im going to hell by the way.

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what do you call cheese thats not yours? stolen, your under arrest

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What do you call it when Justin Bieber has sex with a woman? A miracle

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Knock Knock! Who's there? Reclu. Reclu who? Recluse Spider.

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your mommas so fat she jumped for joy and got stuck

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A horse walks in a bar. The bartender asks "Why the long face?"..... The horse incapable of understanding the humane language promptly poos on the floor and leaves.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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