Why did the black man jump out of the plane? He was going on a parachute dive with his friend.

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You know what's sad and Funny? When a guy walks into a gay bar and doesn't get hit on.

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A horse walks in a bar. The barman asks: "Why the long face?" The horse replies: I have aids.

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Today, my friend threw a lemon at me very hard and hit me in the testicles. FML

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How many licks does it take to get to the center of a tootsie pop? 3, according to Mr. Owl

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Barack Obama plays basketball

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why did the chicken cross the road? he saw a rather desperate looking homeless person coming towards him, and, realizing he had no change, figured it was the best way to avoid an awkward situation.

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Why was six afraid of seven? Because seven was a sociopathic murderer.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He was being dragged to his death by an 18 wheeler.

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When is it ok to drink urine? When you're Bear Grills

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Having a giant, angry ape on steroids rip your heart out and eat it before your eyes as you painfully die from the unbearable pain and rapid blood loss.

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What's long, hard and full of semen? An erect penis prior to ejaculation.

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Did you know that Helen Keller had a swing set? neither did she.

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What happened to Jillian when she walked out the door? She got hit by a bus A. Knock knock B. Whos there? A. Not Jillian

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Why did the goose cross the road? He was playing duck, duck, goose

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What's the difference between a Jew and a pizza? One is a human being belonging to a particular religious minority and the other is a delicious Italian food favoured by English speaking western cultures. The problem with this anti-joke is that the facts are not correct, pizza was originally invented and China; however,it looked quite different then what might be considered pizza by our standards, when pizza was brought to Italy it was improved to make what we now consider pizza in modern times. While some people may consider pizza an Italian food, this would be failing to give credit to the Chinese who invented it.

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My son lost his first tooth today...so proud. Took my punch like a champ

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What did one penguin say to the other? Flippty-flop-dop-boop-de-bop. Jazzhands.

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POLITE NOTICE: Management Committee here. Please refrain from posting any anti-jokes which are not offensive to protected groups.

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What do you call a black guy that has a big white coat, an assortment of knives and a couple of women working for him? A doctor

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Why did Jimmy throw butter out the window? Because he had down syndrome

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Will you please answer one question for me? "Yes" Thank you. -walk away-

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Chinese men having large penis.

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Three men walk into a bar. They order drinks. This joke isn't funny.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops