What did the finger say to the thumb? I'm in glove with you.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

"hey woody can i ask you a question" "sure buzz" "why is it your name is woody but they use me as a vibrator"

thumb_up thumb_down +24

Why did Bob stop at the light? Because it was red and not doing so would be illegal.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

Your momma's so fat she ate oranges and coffe

thumb_up thumb_down +24

Your momma is so fat, shes skinny.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

Q.How many dinosaur species can jump as high as a house? A.All of them, houses can't jump

thumb_up thumb_down +22

Why did the man have a bad day? Well first of all, his wife left him, then his two kids both committed suicide, then a large falcon pecked at him genital area. After that he proceeded to be hit by a car, and soon after he was hit by a bus. Following this, his corpse was raped by a transvestite pig, and then finally his spirit got hit by a plane on its way up to heaven.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

Knock knock Who's there? The Gestapo, time to go to Auschwitz.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

1912, the titanic sinks, 1913 ww1 starts, 1939, ww2 starts, 1954, the vietnam war starts, 90's, cold war. wow! the 20th century sucked.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

Why did Ant Man die? He was shot by a gangster, duh.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

Why did the chicken cross the road? I don't know, nor does the chicken because it's a chicken.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

This one time at band camp music was played.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

How do you make Lady Gaga cry? Stab her.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

I asked a Jewish girl for her number, so she rolled up her sleve

thumb_up thumb_down +22

How to you get a clown off a swing? You shoot it in the face.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

What is a mean thing to say to Stephen Hawking? Please take a seat.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

What do you call a lazy good-for-nothing who can't succed at anything, steals your money, and who is unskilled in every way? A women

thumb_up thumb_down +22

How many Muslims does it take to screw in a light bulb? One.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

89 bottles of beer on the wall, 89 bottles of beer, if one alcoholic passes the wall, 0 bottles of beer on the wall!

thumb_up thumb_down +22

What do you call a blonde prostitute your bitch

thumb_up thumb_down +22

roses are red violets are blue a pyschorapist just ate me refrigerator

thumb_up thumb_down +22

A: Why did the chicken cross the road? B: Why? A: If I knew I wouldn't be asking you.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

Once upon a time there was a man exercising, he pulled a muscle and had to have his heart removed. In other words, don't exercise. The end.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

We are few Nero, too few, if I want to split my money with you, would it help you find true happiness?

thumb_up thumb_down +22

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops