why did the asian man get straight A's? because he worked hard and studied everyday

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That day where Captain America becomes too weak and frail to hold his own shield.

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Hellen Keller walks into a bar. And a tree. And a lamp.

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What does a shortstop do when the ball is by third base? He leaves the field to go to the hospital, his little sister just had a heart attack.

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A drunk guy walks out of an AA meeting.

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Why does people with tourettes curse so much? Fuck should I know?

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What's long and black? A 12 inch black dick.

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Hello we are from the church of the latter day saints.

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what is white on top and black on the bottom? society... ha ha

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honest politician

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The Dali Lama walks into a pizza parlor and asks the owner to make him one with everything. After 20 minutes or so the owner brings the Dali Lama a pizza with every available topping. After he finished eating the Dali Lama thanked the owner and left a nice tip.

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What's black and has the texture of tar? Molasses

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What body part do you shave other than your balls? My fridge.

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Q. want to hear a really funny joke? A. Fred Figglie-horn

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An Irishman, an Englishman, and a Scottishman walks into a bar. They had a good time.

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What happened while Thomas crossed the street? He got hit by a truck. What happened to Billy? He was Thomas's Siamese twin, and he too met the same fate.

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What do you call a bear with no teeth? A gummy bear!

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KNOCK KNOCK who's there? OUCH! what's your door knob made of? nails?

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How can you make a little boy tell the truth? Threaten to murder his family.

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Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? Not having an apple

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A horse walks into a bar, prompting the show-jumping judges to subtract points for failing to clear the obstacle.

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A deranged serial killer walks into a bar. No one leaves because he looks like a normal guy.

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A zen master walks up to a hot dog vendor and says, "Make me one with everything." The vendor says, "Sorry, we're out of relish." Then the zen master tells him, "Sir, I don't think you get the joke. As you can see by my long silk robes and fu manchu, I am clearly a zen master. And I have used a pun that would make you think I were asking for enlightenment from a hot dog." The vendor then says, "We don't take too kindly to wise guys here." And then the prick gets up and tosses me into the street!

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What is worse than getting raped? Getting raped twice.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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