A horse walks in a bar. The barman asks: "Why the long face?" The horse replies: I have aids.

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there was a blonde red head and black they were on misty mountain the black was the smartest so she jumped off and said bird flew like a bird the red jumped and said falcon and glided like a falcon then the blonde the dumb one tripped said oh crap turned into crap and wentt to the bottom and bursted

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Why did the black man jump out of the plane? He was going on a parachute dive with his friend.

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Why was six afraid of seven? Because seven was a sociopathic murderer.

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Why did the goose cross the road? He was playing duck, duck, goose

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Barack Obama plays basketball

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How many licks does it take to get to the center of a tootsie pop? 3, according to Mr. Owl

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What happened to Jillian when she walked out the door? She got hit by a bus A. Knock knock B. Whos there? A. Not Jillian

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why did the chicken cross the road? he saw a rather desperate looking homeless person coming towards him, and, realizing he had no change, figured it was the best way to avoid an awkward situation.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Having a giant, angry ape on steroids rip your heart out and eat it before your eyes as you painfully die from the unbearable pain and rapid blood loss.

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When is it ok to drink urine? When you're Bear Grills

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He was being dragged to his death by an 18 wheeler.

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What's long, hard and full of semen? An erect penis prior to ejaculation.

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What's the difference between a Jew and a pizza? One is a human being belonging to a particular religious minority and the other is a delicious Italian food favoured by English speaking western cultures. The problem with this anti-joke is that the facts are not correct, pizza was originally invented and China; however,it looked quite different then what might be considered pizza by our standards, when pizza was brought to Italy it was improved to make what we now consider pizza in modern times. While some people may consider pizza an Italian food, this would be failing to give credit to the Chinese who invented it.

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Why was Rosa Parks forced to sit in the back of the bus? Rebecca Black decided to sit in the front.

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My son lost his first tooth today...so proud. Took my punch like a champ

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Will you please answer one question for me? "Yes" Thank you. -walk away-

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Chinese men having large penis.

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Why did Jimmy throw butter out the window? Because he had down syndrome

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One terrible stormy night, the citizens of Ristoville were hiding from the monsterous lightning cloud approaching them. Little Jonny Harrison, however, was not afraid. This boy had been bullied from the ripe young age of about 14 months by his closest friend, Uncle Oliver, who happens to be a Catholic Priest. Jonny wanted to face the storm, with 6 years behind him, he thought it bizzare that anything worse than Uncle Oliver's magical basement could be brought unto him. He grabbed his supply of Cheese and Onion Quavers, a couple cartons of Apple and Blackcurrant Flavoured Ribena, his pretend mobile, a 10ft long metal conductor and his pet grape, "Christopher", and set out for the journey of his life. He told his terminally ill mother that he is going for the adventure of a lifetime, his dad that he wishes him well, and finally, his Grandmother, Rosie Harrison, who has had a severe addiction to meth for almost 25 years now, who has had over 13 interventions and countless attempts at suicide, that he loves her with all of his strong, brave heart, and to hang in there. Little Jonny Harrison takes his first step outside, facing the eye of storm with a little bit of pee in his pants, squeezes his Ribena, slightly squirting it and throwing it heroicly to the drooping wet grass, and screams to the cloud, at the top of his lungs, the words, "I am unstoppable!". Jonny died of HIV induced AIDS and his Uncle was given three to five years, depending on behavior, in a high security prison for child molestation and consistent domestic abuse and paedophillia. His Grandmother, Rosie, also died later that day.

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A man and a woman are happily married. The die

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What do you call a black guy that has a big white coat, an assortment of knives and a couple of women working for him? A doctor

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Chuck Norris has a chin under his beard.

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What is invisible and smells like cheese? Cheese. I lied about the invisible part, because cheese is not invisible.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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