why was the black guy running from the cops? i dont know either

what do you call a dead man rolling down a hill on fire, being shot in the head, and strapped to a bomb Dead

why can't the bat see? Because it's made of metal

How many surrealists does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Fish.

A man with a barbie doll walks into a bar. He goes up to the bartender and says "I bet you $100 that I can turn this barbie doll into a beautiful lady". The bartender laughs and says "Okay." The man takes out a brush and begins brushing the doll's hair. Seconds later the man has a seizure and falls to floor a dies. It turns out he was a drug addict and had a fatal over dose. The bartender never got his $100.

There was once a man who lived in a box.

A teacher, a consturction worker, and an army general are on an airplane. The pilot tells them the plane has too much weight, and if they don't each drop one item then the plane will crash. Realizing one item each is obviously not enough weight to throw off, the teacher and the construction worker team up and throw the army genral off the plane. They land safely, and live the rest of their life haunted by their vile actions.

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A man walks into a bar and notices a twelve inch tall man playing a small piano. He asks the bartender about it. The bartender explains that the pianist has worked there for some time, mostly performing on weeknights. The bartender also tells the man that he may be suffering some vision problems, as the pianist is about 5'8" or 5'9". Some time later the man visits an optometrist and finds out he has a severe case of astigmatism. "Knock Knock." "Who's there?" "Banana." "Banana who?" "Knock Knock." "Who's there?" "Banana." "I already asked ''Banana who?'' Is that your real name? Who is this really?" "Knock Knock." "You are upsetting me. I am calling the police now. Please get off my property."

What do you call a big group of Chinese people on Mars? An extraordinary feat for the Chinese space program and a historic day in human history, where a particular country has set up the first human colony on another planet and we have proven to ourselves that our race is capable of interplanetary travel and can accomplish anything if we set our minds to it.

Knock knock! Who's there? Dave. Dave who? Dave Smith. Oh, hey Dave. Come in.

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Why did jimmy cross the road? Because that was the direction the cannon was pointing.

What's worse then your pets death? I don't know I asked you.

Q: What did Batman say to Robin right before they got in the b\Batmobile? A: "Robin, get in the Batmobile."

Knock Knock? whos there? The man at the door then finds himself thinking what his last name is as he lately got amnesia

Have you seen Stevie Wonders new house? No. Neither has he.

Q: Why is it funny to laugh at gay men? A: They like men.

whats the meaning of stonehenge? ask the ones that built it!

Why didnt little Timmy come home? He was abducted into slavery.

What is black, white and red all over? Many things.

Paul Walker: Breaks, stop Breaks: No

Yesterday i had a conversation with my husband. I asked him if he slept with another women. He said yes

If life gives you lemons, throw them at people.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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