Q. What has four legs, but can't walk? A. A dog dying of a serious illness...

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in soviet russia, cow milks you

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Why did Susie fall off the swing? She had no arms.

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Did you hear the one about the man who went into the jungle wearing nothing but leopard print underwear? He was suffering from psychogenic fugue disorder and had no idea who or where he was. He was eventually eaten alive by a flesh-eating centipede. When his wife found out, she committed suicide.

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how long is a chinese name. how long. yup.

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Knock Knock Who’s there? Who Who who? Who who who Who who who who? Who who who who who who who who who who who who who who who…

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What happened to the convict on death row? He died

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What is worse than a nuke exploding? Going to the hospital and finding out you have cancer and aids.

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Where do fat girls go to eat doughnuts? Jenny Craig

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there was once a time before tht time when there wasnt bonerss there were erectionss CC

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Q: What did the psychopath dream about? A: An insane chimpanzee kicking his head off, or maybe something normal

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Why do black guys have white palms? Because that area of the human hand contains no melanocytes, the cells that allow pigment to form.

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Why was the boy crying? Because his dad comes home drunk every night and beats him.

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What did the farmer say when he couldnt find his tractor? "Wheres my tractor?"

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Why do midgets laugh when they run? Because the grass tickles their balls.

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What did Hitler say to the Nazis? I have a mustache.

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Did you just fall from heaven? If not I'm gonna beat the shit out of you

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Where's my tractor?

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mark is life

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he (assuming he bears male reproductive organs) saw some corn on the other side (using the light rays refracted primarily by his cornea onto the retina) which is his staple diet as he is a herbivorous chicken. As corn is the producer of the food chain in question and the chicken is the primary consumer, a fox being the secondary and an angry farmer being the tertiary, he needs to ingest this food source in order to obtain the glucose required to produce adenosine triphosphate by the process of aerobic respiration in the mitochondria of his chicken cells. Thus, the chicken crossed the road.

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Goodbye Nero, it is good to see that you are the man that we still admire so much, except better, wiser than we thought you would be, stronger, if broken inside by unhappiness, you cannot change this world into what it could have been, and neither should you take that burden upon your shoulders anymore.

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A dyslexic man walks into a saloon and asks for a hair cut.

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oh hai

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How do you get a one armed polock out of a tree? You assess the situation and get a ladder the proper size to reach him, making sure the ladder is stable.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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