Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because he was dead

A father walks in on his kid masturbating to pictures of horses and promptly divorces his wife.

What is green and has wheels? Grass. I was just lying about the wheels part.

How do you know you're crazy? Consult the pink pheasent to your left

Cool story bro. Tell it again.

Call of Duty Infinite Warfare

A man is boarding a plane. The attendant asks if he has a passport. The man says no, and leaves.

Why did the man wear his jacket because he was cold

roses are red violets are blue sunflowers are yellow I bet you were expecting something romantic but this is just gardening facts

If Chuck Norris were to roundhouse you. Then something previously happened before the altercation, that caused tension.

Why did the man cry when he went to the doctor? He has a terminal illness progressed to the point of cure and would die in 3 hours.

Barack Obama.

A blonde was drinking water from the water fountain. She was very thirsty.

What's worse than the Holocaust? Finding a worm in your apple.

Why did Suzy fall off the swing? She was a donut.

Ask me if I'm a dinosaur. Are you dinosaur? No.

What the difference between a black person and a piece of shit in a bucket? The bucket

Why did the boy in a wheelchair cry? His mum just got shot in front of his eyes.

If humans say YOLO what do cats say? meow.

What do you call cat that is on fire? Nigel.

knock knock. who's there? Kony. Kony who? Kony says:" Uganda be abducted"

What's more exiting than watching football Escaping through the underground railroad

Killing your friend as a joke.

What do friends and trees have in common? They will fall over if you hit them repeatedly with an axe.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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