What does a carrot and a potato have in common? They're both not chocolate

What do a fish, a can of asparagus, a spool of thread, and a car tire have in common? Nothing.

My computer crashed today I was watching porn.

Doctor Doctor i've got wind can you give me something? Thats not wind the doctor replies thats a rare form of stomach cancer.

Your mama is so stupid she has an IQ lower than an average person.

You make me believe in myself, after all, it takes one to know one, I just wonder what I am, what are you?

Two colleague janitors sit next to each other in the coffee room, one says to the other: About yesterday... I checked three times and it looks pretty normal. Sorry... I wasn't around to hear the question the other posed the day before, but I heard it's supposed to be pretty funny with this answer. So... Less is better then none, right?

have you seen ray charles' house? neither has he.

What's brown and ryhmes with snoop? Dr. Dre

A squirrel and an owl are sitting in a tree. The squirrel turns to the owl and says nothing, because it is a squirrel and squirrels can't talk. The owl turns to the squirrel and eats it, because it is a bird of prey.

What's worse, a dead baby or an abortion? A dead baby on a bayonet

Why did the plane crash? The pilot was a loaf of bread.

Q; What's the new slogan for the TSA? We handle more junk than EBay.

one day a white guy was in detroit. it was very strange. nothing happened

I'm Stephen Hawking, and I'm a PC. I can't walk or talk, and I'm a Stephen Hawkings

The WNBA is on the cooking channel

Why did the women cross the road? I dont know.. why? no clue.. why was she out of the kitchen

Why was the little boy sad? Because he had a frog stapled to his face.

whats black and white? a zebra

How do you wake up Lady Gaga? You shove her off the bed

--- ___________________--- Can you tell what it is? Yes... Then what is it? Its a blanket,duh! ......

like most people my age. im 27

A father walks in on his kid masturbating to pictures of horses and promptly divorces his wife.

Q. What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? A. Where's my tractor?

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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