How did the farmer stop the chicken from swearing? Cutting it's head off, skinning it, plucking it's feathers and cooking it on a medium heat for about an hour. He then served it up to his family with green beans, mash and parsnips.

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Why did the boy dig a hole in the football field? He was blind and his parents were being quite irresponsible....However someone should probably fill in that hole, as that could be a hazard during a football game.

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Q: why did the train not make it to the station? A: it crashed and killed everybody on board.

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Q:John has 50 candy bars and he eats 45, what does john have? A: Diabetes

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What did the african child get for christmas? Abducted.

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What's better than doing the Hannah Montana's hoedown-throwdown? Throwin' that ho down.

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What do you call a black man driving a nice luxury sedan? A man who has, surprisingly, done very well in this economy.

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What doesn't kill you makes you stronger! Wrong. What doesn't kill you could leave you in a parapledgic state.

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A Frenchman, an Irishman, and a Russian walk into a bar. The Frenchman orders a glass of wine, the Irishman orders a whisky, and the Russian, who prefers to be sober, orders a glass of water. They have an all-around pleasant night, yet they leave the bar upset. Why? A severe water contamination in the town resulted in the Russian man consuming a fatal dose of arsenic.

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What's the difference between Timmy and a car? Timmy can be brutally murdered.

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Q. What did little John get from reading this. then wait and you will see that the person who you were asking the question will give you a series of awkward faces until they lose interest

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What does Adolf Hitler hate more than Jews? Nothing.

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a man and a boy walk into a dark scary wood. "gosh I'm spooked" exclaimed the boy. "you think you've got it bad?" said the man "I'm walking out of here alone"

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Whats as Heavy as a rock and also as light as a feather? Any object in space because the lack of gravity to give the object weight.

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why was six afraid of seven? prison changes a person

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why was six afraid of seven? because seven eight nine

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What's the reason my dog died? I ate him.

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A: My dog has no nose! B: How does he smell? A: He cannot smell, because he has no nose.

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When do doctors make house calls? When you're sick.

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There's an Irishman, a homo-sexual, and a Jew standing at a bar. What a fine example of an integrated community!

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Why were The Beatles so popular? People across the world enjoyed their music.

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Why couldn't Billy write his own name... ...because he was wearing purple lemonade???

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It's so hot even chuck noris can't withstand this shit.

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What do you do when you see someone from the kkk? Accept what you saw and move on with your day

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops