What do a fish, a can of asparagus, a spool of thread, and a car tire have in common? Nothing.

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What does a carrot and a potato have in common? They're both not chocolate

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Q; What's the new slogan for the TSA? We handle more junk than EBay.

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Why did the plane crash? The pilot was a loaf of bread.

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I'm Stephen Hawking, and I'm a PC. I can't walk or talk, and I'm a Stephen Hawkings

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have you seen ray charles' house? neither has he.

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You make me believe in myself, after all, it takes one to know one, I just wonder what I am, what are you?

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Two colleague janitors sit next to each other in the coffee room, one says to the other: About yesterday... I checked three times and it looks pretty normal. Sorry... I wasn't around to hear the question the other posed the day before, but I heard it's supposed to be pretty funny with this answer. So... Less is better then none, right?

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What's brown and ryhmes with snoop? Dr. Dre

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What's worse, a dead baby or an abortion? A dead baby on a bayonet

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A squirrel and an owl are sitting in a tree. The squirrel turns to the owl and says nothing, because it is a squirrel and squirrels can't talk. The owl turns to the squirrel and eats it, because it is a bird of prey.

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Why did the women cross the road? I dont know.. why? no clue.. why was she out of the kitchen

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Why was the little boy sad? Because he had a frog stapled to his face.

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The WNBA is on the cooking channel

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whats black and white? a zebra

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like most people my age. im 27

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How do you wake up Lady Gaga? You shove her off the bed

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--- ___________________--- Can you tell what it is? Yes... Then what is it? Its a blanket,duh! ......

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A young blonde walks into a bar and orders a shot of tequila. After about a few minutes she spots this very ugly man with one leg. The man just so happens to sit right next to her and orders a drink. The man reeks of cockroaches and he looks like a homeless man that hasn't bathed in months. They never talk and the blonde goes home.

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why did the grinch steal christmas? The grinch had a rough childhood. he had an abusive father and a crack cocaine addicted mother, and as a result, the grinch never got a christmas of his own. The grinch steals the happiness of christmas from the who's becuase his horrible childhood has caused him to take his anger out on everyone around him, because the grinch believes that this will make up for his depressing childhoofd

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I'M JOSH BROWN!!!!!

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How do you get a dog and a baby mixed up? You stir your chili.

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How do you know you're crazy? Consult the pink pheasent to your left

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Call of Duty Infinite Warfare

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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