Why doesn't little jimmy ride his favourite bike to school any more? He was playing on the platform at at the railway station, tripped and fell across the track, at which point a seven carriage train came through at over 150 mph and cut through his upper thighs crushing everything in his legs and causing them to fall off.

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How do you make an electrician cry? You kidnap him and his mother, tie them both to chairs in your garage, and force him to watch you stab his mother repeatedly in the face while laughing and licking up her blood and tears. Then cut his arms and legs off, lock him in a cage with his mothers body, and go in there everyday and eat a delicious meal while watching him starve to death next to his dead mother.

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If humans say YOLO what do cats say? meow.

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What's more exiting than watching football Escaping through the underground railroad

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What the difference between a black person and a piece of shit in a bucket? The bucket

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Why did the boy in a wheelchair cry? His mum just got shot in front of his eyes.

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knock knock. who's there? Kony. Kony who? Kony says:" Uganda be abducted"

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What do you call cat that is on fire? Nigel.

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Killing your friend as a joke.

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What's worse than the Holocaust? Finding a worm in your apple.

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A blonde was drinking water from the water fountain. She was very thirsty.

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Why did Suzy fall off the swing? She was a donut.

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Ask me if I'm a dinosaur. Are you dinosaur? No.

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Barack Obama.

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Why did the man cry when he went to the doctor? He has a terminal illness progressed to the point of cure and would die in 3 hours.

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A man is boarding a plane. The attendant asks if he has a passport. The man says no, and leaves.

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roses are red violets are blue sunflowers are yellow I bet you were expecting something romantic but this is just gardening facts

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Why did the man wear his jacket because he was cold

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If Chuck Norris were to roundhouse you. Then something previously happened before the altercation, that caused tension.

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What's black, white and red all over? A race war

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What colour is an orange? Orange. What did you expect?

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What is the biggest lie in the world How the **** should I know

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Why was the Chinese Man mistaken for the other Chinese Man? They were twins.

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too bad about that wild ball, you otherwise played a fantastic softball game"

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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