Technically I did not try to, but I made you believe I tried in vain, so your subconcious is unable to register that it is under a state of trance, you could deny it, but you are in a state of trance right now. So how big are your breasts?

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Sometimes I don't make sense, but when I do, I don't

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There was 3 floors in a building. The man outside was watering plants. The man on the first floor was doing laundry. The man on the second floor was peeing out the window because the toilet wasn't working. The man on the third floor was cutting vegetables and accidentally dropped his knife out the window. Now, the four men all went out to tell what they did that day. The man on the third floor said that he was cutting veggies and dropped his knife out the window. The man on the second floor said that he got his wiener cut off. The man on the first floor said that he was just doing laundry. Then, the man outside said that he was watering plants and found a delicious sausage on the ground and he ate it.

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Roses are red, violets are blue, sugar is sweet and so are you, but the roses are wilting, the violets are dead, the sugar bowl empty and so is your head.

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What did the elephant say to the clown? Swell, morning isn't it?

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Why does Billy hate waiting in line? Because he's impatient.

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What's worse than having to watch your dad rape your mom? Having to watch your mom rape your dad.

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A quadriplegic walked into a bar, and... oh, whoops, nevermind.

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How did the monkey fall out of the tree? because it died. how did the second monkey fall out of the tree? because it was stapled to the other monkey.

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A teacher tells one of her students, "If I say 'I am beautiful', which tense is that?" The student tells her, "Didn't your mother ever tell you that lying is bad?"

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Don't tell anyone, the Health Department is already on our backs.

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my grandpa has the heart of a lion, and a permanent ban to the zoo.

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What do you get if you cross a motorway with a lawnmower? Killed.

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Bradley is Sexi;P just kidding!!! fatty

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What did the kid with all F's on his report card get? Beat by his parents

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What can you use a broken watch for? A compass.

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Q: What do you call someone who cant swim? A: A person that cant swim.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Well, it was kind of by chance that it crossed the road and what is the big deal lots of animals cross the road. For example possums, squirrels, deer, raccoons, cats, dogs, rabbits do pretty often too it's weird because sometimes more rabbits cross the road on Easter I don't know if that's just me though, chipmunks, bears, over in Africa probably tigers and lions cross those roads.

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Why did the girl fall off the swing? She had no arms.

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There is big difference between helping your Uncle Jack off a horse And helping your uncle jack off a horse

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What's red and round? A red and round solid.

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Fox News

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One day a mans computer was unusually, when all else failed, he had to go to extreme measures. He then refreshed his page.

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Why did you step on my watermelon?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops