What did Stephen Hawking say when his computer crashed? Nothing.

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Your social life.

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What did the elephant say to the other elephant? We're both elephants!

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A forty-year-old man forces a young child to strip down and take a shower. The child screams and cries, but the man persists angily. He then carries the child into his bed. The child pleads, "Help! Mom, make him stop!" The mother yells back, "Just listen to him. He's your father and it's past your bedtime." This is a common night-time routine for parents with their first child

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Q: How is a cloud like orange juice? A: Neither have wheels.

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GUESS WHAT ?????????? THATS WHAT CAOMHIN

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Why did the first squirrel fall out of the tree? It was dead. Why did the second squirrel fall out of the tree? It was stapled to the first one. Why did the third squirrel fall out of the tree? Peer Pressure. Why did Bobby fall off his bike? He was hit by 4 squirrels.

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Two hunters are out in the woods, one of them collapses on the ground and his eyes roll back in his head. His friend whips out his cell phone and calls 911. He gasps,"I think my friend is dead, what do i do?" The operator says,"calm down lets first make sure he's dead." There's a silence, then a shot. Sadly the man was not dead but extremely tired and could not carry on without rest.

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why didthe man's computer crash? the man has a serious porn addiction

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2001, 2 airplains fly into the world trait centers. the pilots then had their licences taken away.

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Ask me if im an Airplane. Are your Airplane? Hell yes

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What do you call a black man in jail Your dad

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whats worse than jonny james obviously

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Why did the plane crash? The Pilot Wash a Loaf of Bread

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why did the baby fall out of the tree? the monkey dropped it. why did the monkey drop the baby? it was dead.

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Barack Obama plays basketball

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When geese fly in the V formation why is there always one side longer than the other? Because theres more geese on that side.

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roses are red violets are red everything is red who set my house on fire

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There are 3 types of people in this world; people who can count, and people who can't

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what do you call a woman that didnt make you a sandwich? An ambulance

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why did the jew cross the road? He didnt. He got stuck in the wire fence.

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dyslexia is like gingervitus except they are exactly alike in possible little ways with gigantic raging boners CC

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Two ladies are walking down a road. One says, "It's freezing out here!" and then the other woman, who is a scientist, says "No it's not freezing. The freezing point of oxygen is -365.82 degrees F. So, unless it is actually that temperature outdoors, I highly doubt that it is freezing outside."

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I like cookies... GIVE ME ICE CREAM.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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