How do you torture Helen Keller? You put her on a table and slowly pull her limbs off

Why can't Helen Keller drive? Because she is both deaf and blind. Driving would be an extremely hazardous action for herself and other nearby drivers.

What do you call a white guy with no friends? A white guy with no friends

How do you get pikachu onto a bus? You can't. Pikachu is a fictional creature and therefore does not exist.

Friends are like potatoes - when you eat them they die.

How do you wake up Lady GaGa? Poke her Face.

What's the difference between Elmo and Cookie Monster? One of them doesn't listen to Michelle Obama

why did the kid stop eating his breakfast...two Penn state officials knocked at the door

Why did Lebron go to Miami? Because Chuck Norris told him to.

Why is the beach always so angry? The beach is just sand and waves and lacks sentience, but makes up for it in crabs.

What is worse than finding a worm in your apple? Women's rights.

Me: What day is it? Rebecca Black: Tuesday

What shakes and twitches and can be found at the sea bottom? A scuba diver running out of oxygen.

"Knock knock..." "come in"

Why didn't the door open? Because it was locked

Why did the chicken cross the road? To distract everyone from the Mexican.

A grandma starts pinching her grandsons cheeks and saying who's a little cutie pie the baby begins to bleed cause his grandmas nails are peircing his skin

Yo momma's so fat she ate Sally's arms. Knock Knock Who's There. The police we have a warrant for your mothers arrest on charges of cannibalism and kidnapping.

im jackson, i have a small willy, and like to finger my dog

What's white and can't climb a tree? A refrigerator.

why is king kong so fat? because he eats to mucj

A man walked into a bar. That hurt.

Q: What's black, long, and floppy? A: Black Licorice

what long green and bumpy? a pickle

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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