Q: Why did the chicken cross the road? A: The chicken saw greater opportunities to find food on the other side

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What did the two best friends do before the asteroid hit the Earth? They hugged each other goodbye.

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What do you call a dear with no eyes? A victim of animal cruelty.

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That was slightly painful. I would appreciate it if you would stop such actions in the future

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What do you get when you cross an owl, with a bungee cord?..... My ass.

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epic win?

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I created darkness. God created the stars. God created the bee. I created the wasp. God created the child. I banged your mother. Moral: Soon my wings of darkness shall destroy your very own star, these words seem empty now, so I will fill them with true meaning and purpose as I will give the same to you the day the sky brightens no more.

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How many immature teenagers does it take to change a light bulb? Ya mum.

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Did you hear about the kidnapping? Well you should be very concerned because he hasn't been found in 4 years.

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Kevin+Sean sitting in a tree enjoying mcdonald's free wifi.

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A mother is sitting with her son at the park. A nearby man suddenly breaks into uncontrollable coughing. The mother leans over to her son and whispers, 'Smoker's cough.' The son never takes up smoking.

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What's the worst way to die? Alone.

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If the Trojan Horse was a deadly deception, is it My Lethal Phony?

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What did the Brontosaurus say to the Triceratops? Nothing. Neither of them have ever existed.

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How do you know if a girl is special? If she hates justin bieber, Twilight, and is open to threeways.

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What do cookies and Ruber have in common? Ones edible one is not

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What do you call a place where all hopes and dreams go to die as this place is contained of depression and the lingering smell of death? www.anti-joke.com

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This joke might just be dumb enough for YOU to find funny

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knock knok Who's there The police, I regret to inform you your son was killed in a horrific traffic accident

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Sorry, had it not been for my contacts, you would all have ended up in prison because of "The Wiz", I know you got a clean plate, but this guy was doing some seriously dirty laundry claiming to be working for "The Order", again it is best you all keep low, I will make sure my men evacuate this place as soon as we have rigged the game to your favor. As far as we can tell, he was the only one leaking Intel, but I suggest you keep an close eye on the rest of your boys and girls.

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if your mother was put in a situation where she could either have sex with a man or a woman she would pick the woman

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In the attic lights Voices scream Nothin' seen Real's the dream Leaving the things that are real behind Leaving the things that you love from mind All of the things that you learned from fears Nothin' is left for the years Voices scream Nothin' seen Real's the dream Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Lights, voices scream Nothin' seen Real's the dream Leaving the things that are real behind Leaving the things that you love from mind All of the things that you learned from fears Nothin' is left for the years Voices scream Nothin' seen Real's the dream Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic

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A man walks into a bar and says to the bartender "Hey, 2 beers please" The bartender asks why he is ordering two, as he is alone. The man replies "There is a taxi waiting for me outside."

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How many Jews does it take to screw in a lightbulb? -None, they will pay for somebody else to do it

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops