What has 156 bras and 927 pairs of underwear? Someone without a washing machine.

thumb_up thumb_down

Roses are shitty Violets are bitches I'm fat.

thumb_up thumb_down

What's the last thing to go through a flys head when it hits your windshield? Its ass.

thumb_up thumb_down

Why did the cat bite its owner? Because the owner had been dead for several days and the cat was locked in the house with nothing else to eat.

thumb_up thumb_down

What did the boyfriend give his girlfriend for her birthday? A S.T.D

thumb_up thumb_down

Why is wood brown Because wood is brown

thumb_up thumb_down

Q: What do you call a person up to their elbows in a horse's ass? A: An Amish auto mechanic. (this gem brought to you by Designated Dale)

thumb_up thumb_down

While on a business trip, a Jim got a call on his cell phone. It was his best friend. He was informing Jim of his wife's death in a terrible train crash. She didn't die on impact, but her legs were cut off by metal debris from the train car in front of her. She fought against the pain and used a shirt she found from a dead body to stop the bleeding. She managed to drag herself to the nearest road crossing, where someone drove her to the hospital. Despite her efforts to survive and the surgeons efforts to save her, she died that night as a result of excessive blood loss. After he hung up, Jim turned up the ringer volume on his phone because he couldn't hear it very well when it rang.

thumb_up thumb_down

Person 1: I got a really good knock, knock joke. Person 2: Okay. Person 1: You start. Person 2: Knock, knock. Person 1: Who's there? Person 2: ...

thumb_up thumb_down

I'm a poet and I just didn't realise

thumb_up thumb_down

Guess what your birth certificate really is. An apology letter from the condom factory.

thumb_up thumb_down

What did the oboe say to the trombone? SQUEEEEEEK

thumb_up thumb_down

A black man is escorted into a prison. He's the new warden, and he's been shown to his office.

thumb_up thumb_down

what looks like a bananna but is blue a blue bananna

thumb_up thumb_down

Dyslexics have more nuf!

thumb_up thumb_down

Why did a chicken cross the road? To see The Doors.

thumb_up thumb_down

Have you seen Helen Keller's house? Well, It's an old style ranch home in a respectable neighborhood.

thumb_up thumb_down

whats white and if it fell from a tree it would kill you ? Pat Butcher

thumb_up thumb_down

What is a bull like in a China Shop? Calm, because generally any bull you would find in a China shop is probably made out of porcelain.

thumb_up thumb_down

A white guy, a black guy, an Asian guy, and a hispanic guy are standing before a cliff. They proceeded to take lovely pictures.

thumb_up thumb_down

This sentance contains three errers

thumb_up thumb_down

"Honey im home!" but his honey was dead on the floor along with his 3 kids.

thumb_up thumb_down

how do you make abus driver cry? you rip his limbs off.

thumb_up thumb_down

Who is best known for causing the Mt. St. Helens Eruption, The World Series Earthquake, and The Asian Tsunami in 2004? According to insurance companies, God.

thumb_up thumb_down

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops