BEST PLACE IN THE WORLD COPENHAGEN !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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An man walks to a bra

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Your mother is so fat, she tried to suicide because she was unhappy with her weight. She tried a diet and it didn't work; she suffers from depression and went to see a doctor about her weight. Life is getting worse for your mother and she is starting to develop diabetes. Your relatives and cousins are going to the hospital to visit her sometime this week; the doctor says she only has about a week left before she passes away.

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What's black, then white, then dead all over? Michael Jackson

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why did the irishman, the englishman and the african man die? because i went on a violent killing spree, murdering everyone i saw

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Why did the man order a mail order Asian bride? Because he was caucasian which meant females of his race had unrealistically high expectations of a partner due to various materialistic overtones that are constantly portrayed in their medie creating a society of over entitled women who think they are owed the earth.

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Not from my wife if that is what you think, but its best people dont know who she is, because you know... A guy that gets many ladies = A playa. A girl that lets his guy do that, well, my wife feels safe about her husband (I am dead honest), but I cant expect people to suddenly go "oh yeah, his wife is totally cool and secure about it all, rather than an insecure idiot that allows him to sleep around like the dog he is) Strictly spoken, I am no dog, women say all men are pigs, but no woman settles for a boy, so that makes me a pig.

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What is long and black? The line at KFC

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Ambition is like a frog sitting on a Venus Flytrap. The flytrap can bite and bite, but it won't bother the frog because it only has little tiny plant teeth. But some other stuff could happen and it could be like ambition.

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Covert trance, black Ops, and something I kinda made up myself. The first two are basically using suggestions without the victim being aware of it, that is how that famous bank robber that just asks nicely for all the cash and gets it succeeds. The other is tricking the "allmighty" subconcious and again, my own invention people claim its called "this and that", I know, because I coined most of the terms. Anyway, you put people into a deep state of trance, you tell them to take a step forward into the sea, and well, you actually led them down the top of a skyscraper or something fun... "Now... Suck on the lollipop I have between my, okay ill stop"

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this joke is funny so dont read the rest even though there is no rest

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a mulslim wlaks past a bomb shop on his way to join the international peace club

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why did Mark Nara cross the road idk why? he didnt

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What do a purple grape and an elephant have in common? They are both purple, except for the elephant.

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Your momma's so fat that when she uses a hoolahoop, she cant use it, she is fat.

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a blonde walks into a drycleaning store to get her clothes and on her way out the empoyee behind her says come again and then the blonde says shut up u nosy bitch its just toothpaste this time!!!

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What's flaming and has wheels? A firepit. I lied about the wheels.

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What is Green and smells like Yellow Paint Green Paint

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A Jewish man and a blonde were in a DIY store, the man buys a box of screws. The woman gets a phone call to find out her son is late for tennis training. She then hangs up the phone and leaves the DIY store with great hast.

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Q: Why did the chicken cross the road? A: He was being taken to the slaughter house

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Roses are red Violets are blue I have alzheimers Who the hell are you?

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Why did the Japanese man commit suicide? He was terminally ill and decided it was his time to go

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Q: why was the man punched in the face? A: I did like him.

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how did the family die? They were shot in the head.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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