What's worse than finding a worm in your pork? Finding half of a worm, because the worm you just ate is going to live in your stomach, breed, then come out your butt. Or the Apocalypse.

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Q: What did one Christmas ornament say to the other? A: I didn't know they could talk! Get me that ornament so I can chat with him!

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Q. What do you call a white guy with a black dick? A. Gay

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Roses are Gray, Violets are Gray, I am color-blind, I hate my life

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A man and a women are having sex. He farted so she left before he came.

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Dear People who are reading this, I am seriously considering suicide. My Mom beats me and my Dad rapes me in the butthole until i bleed. I have no friends and the only way i get my nut off is if it is into a napkin. I often put peanutbutter on my ballsack and have my dog lick it off. It is the only time that i am happy. I have the gun to my head right now and if you wanna talk me out of it. I live in Lincoln, Nebraska. My number is (402)713-9565. Hurry before i run out of time...... and tears. Sincerely, Adam Claypool

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What junk did she have in her trunk? Mcdonalds because shes fat as hell.

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Random letters vJKkBvCffsgfsjxmsocowdbwfeascbsa

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A duck walks into a doctor's office. Quack.

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There's a Christian preist, Jesus, and a Jewish rabi on a boat. They want to go fishing, but they forgot the sunscreen, the bait, and the fishing line. The Christian preist walks across the water and goes and gets the Sunscreen. Jesus walks across the water and gets the bait. The Jewish rabi steps out of the boat and drowns. Jesus turns to the Priest and says, "Do you suppose we should have told about the underwater bridge?"

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What does Malcolm X think about when hes horny? Sex!

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What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? "Where's my tractor?"

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Two blondes walk into a bar, but they are then puzzled as the door would not budge open for them.

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How do you get rich? Sell knives at warped tour.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue. Sugar is sweet, And so is she.

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What's similar between a boat and a plane? Both can fly except for the boat

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I dream of a better tomorrow, where chickens can cross the road without their motives being questioned.

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Q:What is harder than nailing ten dead babies to a tree? A:Nailing one dead baby to ten trees.

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A black man and a Mexican are in a car. Who's driving? The cop. The two men were best friends who had taken off from their law firm. Alex had recently gone through a divorce and John decided to take him on a trip backpacking across Europe. It started raining and an off-duty police officer picked them up and took them to a nearby hotel for drinks. The friends had a wonderful trip. But Alex never got over Jenny leaving him. 3 months later John found him dead in his home by auto-erotic asphyxiation.

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What do we want? Equal rights for people with Tourette's Syndrome. When do we want them? Fuck!

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I bont really understand dyslectic peapole

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Q:Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? A:Because it wa dead!!!!!!

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Why did the chicken cross the road? I was hoping you could tell me–why else would I ask you a question?

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why did the physics major drop out of college? because he stumbled onto a finding that made him contemplate life so much that he needed to go to africa to study where the source of the finding where he later caught AIDS from an infected village person, he was later flown back to the US where he was cured out of a miracle but later hanged himself because he was not allowed to go back to africa and find out the meaning of life.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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