Don't quote me on this Nero, but she kinda deserves it, she should know better, its not like you have gotten this far by not knowing your limits, even if you tend to break them way too often. Can you get rid of the hallucinations with your mind alone? If not get to sleep asap! And stay asleep for a month or so, and if they somehow cant feed your system intravenously, they can all get the fuck out of there.

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Carrot fingers

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The Pittsburgh Pirates

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"Aids" "What?" "Yup, you just got aids­­­."

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A man walks into a bar and sees a woman starring at him, she seems attractive... he walks up to her and realizes that sheis quite mediocre if not even ugly. He proceeds to say "You'll do"

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If a blonde and a feather were dropped off of a building at the same time, which would hit the ground first? A feather is a light object and would most likely float all the way down at a slow velocity, the blonde is most likely 100+ pounds and would die because she is stupid.

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Roses are grey Violets are grey I am a dog.

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Whats the difference between Rolf Harris and a pedophile Whoops I didn't quite think this one through

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What happened to Timmy went to get ice cream from the ice cream truck? He was raped and never seen again, his family now mourns there loss

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Whats a difference between an eagle and a tree? They both can fly. Oh yeah, I Iied about the tree.

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How many Mexicans does it take to screw a lightbulb? None, they couldn't cross the border.

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In Soviet Russia you don't drive car, because the Soviet Union was disbanded in 1991

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What is worse than 10 babies nailed to 1 tree? 1 baby nailed to 10 trees.

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Roses are Red Violets are Blue Your Adopted Deal With It!!!

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Why did the lion eat food Because seaweed is green

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Richard Gere has a girlfriend called Goldie

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Whats better at driving? A pig or a chicken. Neither because they are animals and it is impossible for the to even posses the power of controlling a moving vehicle.

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My wife came up to me and said, "I want you to make me scream with 2 fingers!" So I poked her in the eyes!

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Why was the dyslexic cowboy crying when he came into school that day? He had chronic diarrhea.

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what type of cat has green feathers? a green-feathered cat.

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Knock knock Who's there? Alzheimer's Alzheimer's who? T get to the other side of the road

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Why were the Jews stuck in Germany? Because Joseph Rosenstein and his Jewish family missed their train out of Frankfurt to go to Paris, and so they had to stay another night in their hotel.

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What do you call a black man with a gun? Officer.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It was a free-range chicken

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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