Q: why did the dog fall down the stairs? A: Because I pushed him down.

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What's old and has wet pants? My grandma with a bladder problem

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man 1 walks by man 2 man 1 says hey buddy whats up man 2 responds do i know you man 1 says no but i saw you seeing a movie on friday man 2 says oh cool but wasn't that movie great man 1 responds ya and man 1 and man 2 become best friends plus man 1 only liked man 2 because he was rich!!!

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how much could a wood-chuck chuck if a wood-chuck could chuck wood? it doesnt matter because they can not chuck wood

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Why doesnt snow like Asians? Snow is a form of precipitation within the Earth's atmosphere in the form of crystalline water ice, consisting of a multitude of snowflakes that fall from clouds. Since snow is composed of small ice particles, it is a granular material. It has an open and therefore soft structure, unless packed by external pressure. Snowflakes come in a variety of sizes and shapes. Types which fall in the form of a ball due to melting and refreezing, rather than a flake, are known as graupel, ice pellets or snow grains. Therefore since snow is unhuman they are then thus incapable of emotions because they lack any vitals organs.

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Two muffins are in an oven. Ten minutes later we're enjoying delicious muffins together.

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Q: pete and re-pete were on a boat, pete fell off. who was left? A: i dont know, but why did pete fall off in the first place, that dumb ass

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How many jews can you fit into an ash-tray? none because the volume of a human is much greater than an any ash-tray

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a homeless man walks into a bar, the bartender and patrons treat him nicely, and sympathize for his current situation.

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Whats worst then finding drugs under you brothers bed finding your dead cat under his bed whats worst then finding your dead cat under your brothers bed finding your dead Gran whats even worst then that the Holocaust

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Whats worse than a son killing his own father? His biological father finds him, 10 years later.

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What's black and white and red all over? A skunk in a blender.

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you suck

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Luke, I am your father... Uh... Okay, thats chill, so uh, is my last name Vader or somthing? No son, my name is Anakin Skyw... NOOOOOOOOOOO THATS IMPOSSIBLE!

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Yo mama is so fat she needs to wear extra large.

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What do you call cheese that doesn't belong to you? Someone else's cheese.

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Why did the dead baby cross the road? Cause it was stapled to the chicken.

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Q. A couple went on a boat. The boat sank. Every single person died, who survied? A. The couple.

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why was the man at the tuna fish factory mad? because he was going through intense emotional trauma happening in his life because of problems with his wife and child.

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Knock, knock. Who's There? The Fire Department...

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What is the difference between a baby and a tree? Its not illegal to hit one with an axe

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why didnt the llama eat the string bean? Becuz he was a vegetarian

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Why did the poorly educated man get fired from the M&M factory? He changed the M's to W's!

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Why was 7 afraid of 8? Because 8 knifed 10.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops