What did the toilet say when I pooped in it Nothing I just crapped in it

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A horse finds himself sleeping in the ocean. Immediately, he decides to be a dolphin.

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2 Penises

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Do you need a life...? You can borrow mine! lol JUBIE! :()

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Why did the Muslim suicide bomber commit suicide? He was nervous and didn't think he could hijack a plane.

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How do you kill a fish? You bite off its head.

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Why was the middle-aged doctor morbidly obese? He liked bacon and was severely hypocritical.

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Knock Knock Who's there? 20 20 Who? 24

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Boy: Excuse me, do you have a cigarette? Man: First let me see your ID. Boy: I don't have an ID Man: Well, how much money do you have? Boy: 50 cents Man: Sorry, I don't have any cigarettes. Boy: Good job, I'm actually undercover cop and you sir are a good citizen for not giving a minor cigarettes. Man: Cool, do I get a reward? Boy: Yes, you will receive a good citizen award and free $50 coupon. Man: Thank you! Boy: Can I have a cigarette now? Man: I wasn't lying when I said I didn't have any cigarettes. Boy: Okay, have a nice day.

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your mom is so stupid she got raped

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This joke might just be dumb enough for YOU to find funny

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Yo mamma is so fat her blood type is RAGU

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I created darkness. God created the stars. God created the bee. I created the wasp. God created the child. I banged your mother. Moral: Soon my wings of darkness shall destroy your very own star, these words seem empty now, so I will fill them with true meaning and purpose as I will give the same to you the day the sky brightens no more.

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A man walks into a bard with a politician, an Asian man, and a sailor. They all get drinks and have a good time.

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A guy with a severe attention deficit walks into a bar and... oh, look, the sky is pretty... wait, what was I saying ?

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A man walks into a bar, muttering to himself. People stare at him because his severe Schizophrenia makes him stand out in social situations.

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Erron, who the hell do you work for? I thought we where friends, allies! We have not done anything illegal ever!

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What happened to the guy that took to many lunesta pills? He fell asleep but he was glad it was the weekend or he would have been late for his job

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why did the man shoot himself in the foot? because he didnt have the safety on and he had no gun handling skills.

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What did the ocean say to the other ocean? - nothing oceans are inanimate objects that are incapable of talking.

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How do you get 100 Jews into a car? You can't. It's physically impossible.

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Yo mama's so fat she needed a toilet that had a bigger seat (just like me)

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What is the difference between a Jew and a pizza? One is an Italian food that is an American favorite, and the other is a follower of Judaism.

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Two polar bears are sitting in a bathtub. The first one says, "Pass the soap." "No soap, radio," replies the second one. "Oh, you want me to turn on the shower radio?" "Yeah, it's too quiet in here. I could use some tunes." The first polar bear turns on the radio. "Now pass me the soap, please," he says. The second bear passes him the soap, he washes his face and neck, and then they both get out and towel off. The second bear switches off the radio before they leave the bathroom.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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