Stevie Wonders said to his friend, "Have you seen my house?" "No" "Neither have I"

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Bum: Excuse me, can you spare some change? Rich man: No

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You're in the middle of the ocean and you see a roller coaster. What color is the penny? Tree.

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What did the homosexual community have last night? A protest for gay rights.

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Why did the pig cross the ocean? So he could be eaten by Americans.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It followed a trail of bird feed that was strewn across the street.

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Why did the boy throw his clock out the window? After hours of waiting for the perfect victim, the boy spotted an elderly woman walking down the sidewalk. The clock barreled through the air, hitting the old woman on the head at extremely high speeds. She was immediately killed on contact.

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yo mamma is so stupid she failed high school

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This is a story of Bobbie He was fat so he got bullied at school he did not have any friends. He ate a lot and watched the television. He was called names such as big, fat, an idiot, clumsy. But he begun to realise that if he was smart, he could become rich. So he studied hard and hard, but he did not become better at it. So he thought I want to succeed in sports, so he began exercising and was on a strict diet, but nothing changed. He was still fat and unfit. Then one day he knew that he couldn't succeed. So he asked God, what is the purpose of me living, why can't I have something, maybe a talent. God replied I'm sorry but I can't give you a talent. You have to figure it out by yourself. Then Bobbie knew what his talent was. So the following morning Bobbie went to www.anti-joke.com and began writing jokes. Octopus. Bye

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side.

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Roses are red, ill give you a wink, two in the pink, and one in the stink.

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Bob was in trouble. He forgot his wedding anniversary. His wife was really angry. She told him "Tomorrow morning, I expect to find a gift in the driveway that goes from 0 to 200 in 6 seconds and it better be there!!" The next morning he got up early and told his wife to come to the driveway. He quickly pulled out a .44 Magnum and murdered her violently. The marriage had been a nightmare ever since they lost their unborn child, and the situation pushed Bob to a place, where he could no longer look at his wife.

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What's worse than the Holocaust? Finding half a worm in your apple.

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When is a clown happy? At a child's birthday party.

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Why did the girl fall down the stairs? Because her asshole brother pushed her :)

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Why did sally fall off the swing? Because she had no arms. Knock knock. Who's there? Not sally.

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Q: What does a baby look like in a microwave? A: I don't know, I don't masturbate with my eyes open.

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Q: How much jizz does a gay guy have? A: a butt load

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Why couldn't Billy eat his dinner? Because a black man amputated his hands.

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what's worse than fining out that the best and worst jokes on anti-joke.com are about the Holocaust The Holocaust

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What do you call cheese that's not yours? Stolen Property.

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Why are all women bad drivers? All of them aren't.

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I worship you Nero, and I wont even begin to explain myself why.

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Knock Knock Come in

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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