What did the oncologist say to his patient? You have terminal cancer.

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What happen to the girl that did the splits. Her legs broke.

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Roses are red Violets are violet Why does it go like that anyways? ~Yasmin~

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Have you seen the new Spiderman movie yet? No, Uncle ben hasn't seen it either.

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where did juan go after getting hit by a bus? the ground

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-Why did the man sue the train driver after he witnessed his friends death? -Because he was owed a duty of care.

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How do you make a Child cry? Slaughter his dog and feed it to him convincing him its Chili

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Albert your flies undone.

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How did the woman get pregnant? She was thrown into a pool filled with semen.

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Knock, knock. After a couple minutes of waiting the man knows that no one is home and leaves.

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Major League Soccer

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whats more serious than rape the holocaust

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What did one ocean say to the other? Nothing they just waved

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Jane: The house is supposedly worth $ 6 million Jack: No way! The figure is made up.

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What did Mr. Sandman do whrn the boy asked for one too many dreams, nothing because Mr. Sandman was the boys bitch.

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Q: What's black, blue, and dead? A: My wife after our fight last night.

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What do you call a black man with mishap-in head scares on the left side of his face and a 3rd degree burns on the right side? a very unfortunate guy.

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roses are red violets are blue my dick is long longer then you

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being sober in a bar fight

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How do you kill a blonde? The blonde you were planning on killing, Bridget, arrives home from a rather tiring run. She lets her hair down from her ponytail, and since it is rather long, it brushes against her round breasts. Even though she is a little sweaty, you realize what a beautiful woman she is, and you decide not to kill here. You instead ask her to marry you, and after she replies "yes", with tears of joy streaming down her face, you two make passionate love in the front seat of your 2011 Cadillac Escalade.

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You see that dog over there with no tail? You know what that means, don't you? What? Someone cut it off.

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David: Hey dude, I'm so hungry! Jose: Yeah me too David: Wanna get some food? Jose: No, I lied.

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What happened when the black man tried to cross the road Nothin. He tripped on a bug trying to get on the edge

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man 1 walks by man 2 man 1 says hey buddy whats up man 2 responds do i know you man 1 says no but i saw seeing a movie on friday man 2 says oh cool but wasnt that movie great man 1 responds ya and man 1 and man 2 become best friends plus man 1 only liked man 2 because he was rich!!!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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