Chip and Dale walk into a bar. Chip is black now.

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How do you make a baby cry ? Throw a brick at his face

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What do you call a million pigs jumping out of an aircraft? Bacon.

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how long does it take a meth-head to rob your flat? not long at all, and they'll take everything. they need to, it's an addiction

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Q: What is the difference between a horny college girls and a horny high school girl? A: Usually, an age will seperate people in different grades. Also, what grade their in.

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Lucas talks to mom she says hi

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There are 11 people hanging onto a rope that comes down from an airplane. 10 of them are blonde, and one is a brunette. They all decide that one person should get off because if they don't, the rope will break and everyone will die. No one can decide who should go, so finally the brunette delivers a very touching speech, ending with the words, "I'll get off." The blondes, all moved by the brunette's speech, start clapping. Problem solved.

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Knock knock whose there nobody you have no friends remember

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Two dogs went out for a walk. Then their master took them home.

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Why were the 3 men wearing black suits? They just left their mothers funeral, she died of terminal cancer.

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Why can't Helen Keller drive? Because she's dead.

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A man walks into a bar. He hasn't been there before, and it's a Friday so it's really crowded, and it's really quite a dive, so he and his girlfriend decide to leave and find somewhere else to eat.

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Why did the fat man fall off the swing? Because he weighed 855 pounds and it broke.

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What's blue, and smells like fish? A firetruck, I was kidding about the blue and fish.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? I don't know chickens are absent minded creatures that can aimlessly walk around.

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What did the speech impaired man say ? Nothing.

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A group of teenage boys put a flaming bag of dog feces on Old Man Howard's doorstep. He came out and demanded that they stop such behavior at once. They did, and the day went on normally.

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What do stupid fat ugly women always say to me? “I think you have a problem with women.”

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Why did Sally fall off the swing? She had no arms. Knock Knock. Who's there? Not Sally.

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what's worse than biting into an apple with a worm in it~? lots of things.

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What did Madeline McCann get for Christmas? Nothing she's dead.

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Q: Whats different about pizza and jewish people? A: Pizzas don't scream in the oven.

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Why did the midget cross the road? He needed to buy a ladder

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What's the color of a healthy kidney. I have no f***ing idea.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops