Or something... Volume one. What do you do if you are in the jungle and get confronted by one jaguar to your left, and one tiger at the right and got only one bullet left in your gun? You shoot the Jaguar and drive home in the tiger.

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What did the disabled child say when I hit him with my car? *thunk*

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I was chatting to a woman in a bar, when the subject of kids came up. I said, "My son has had to wear nappies for his entire life." "That's awful," she said, "what's wrong with him?" I replied, "Nothing. He's two and a half."

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"Lady's and Gentlemen, hobos and trams Cross side mosquitoes and bald legged ants Pull up a chair and sit on the floor and I'll tell you I've never heard before Of one bright day in the middle of night Two dead boys got up to fight Back to Back they faced each other Drew their swords and shot each other A deaf policeman heard the noise Came and killed the two dead boys If you don't believe this lie is true Ask the blind man he saw it too"

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Why Did sally fall off the swing? Because she had no arms

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There once was a woman from Ealing, Who had a peculiar feeling She went to the doctors and was consequently diagnosed with Chlamydia

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How many dead babies does it take to paint a wall? First of all, babies do not have the physical ability or the mental capacity to ever paint a wall, no matter how many of them there are. Second of all, they are dead which probably will not increase their chances of painting said wall.

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Where did Susie go when her town was bombed? Everywhere.

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Yo momma is so fat tat people yell TAXI, TAXI when she wears yellow.

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What's funny about anti-jokes? Nothing.

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What do you call a guitar with only one string? A guitar.

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"Honey im home!" but his honey was dead on the floor along with his 3 kids.

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Knock Knock. Who's there? Banana. Impossible, fruits to not have the ability to talk.

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What do you get when you cross a Lion and a Shark? You would likely get trouble, seeing as its both animals are quite dangerous and crossing even one of them is ill advised.

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So I was standing in line at the grocery store and this little old lady let me cut in front of her. It was neat.

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Why did no one throw a fridge at the boy on the swing? Because fridges are heavy.

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EVAN RAMSEY -CAD CLASS!

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So, theoretically, if we controlled the media, what would be different then?

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Why did the black guy cross the road? Because he was late for a meeting

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why was the apple on the ground? because it fell

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today at school... I learned about all the core subject plus the additional electives.

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What do you call 100 Americans at the bottom of the ocean? A US submarine crew.

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You know what makes jokes funny? Irony You know what makes anti-jokes funny? Common sense

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Once upon of time there was a chicken. It crossed the road and everybody made fun of him. The End

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops