My Penis is so big. How big is it? If you lay my penis down beside another similarly lengthy object, approximately 10" long, it would most likely surpass the length of the object you chose to measure it to.

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Which came first? The chicken? Or the egg? Whichever one was more sexually excited i guess.

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What did the the girl say to the deaf boy after he asked her out? He doesn't know

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What did the 14 year old girl get on her birthday? A cake that read, "You're adopted"!

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Knock Knock .... Knock Knock .... Pum Pum Pum .... LAPD! open the door!

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Your mama is so black, she contributes regularly to the NAACP and the United Negro College Fund. Her donations and volunteer work help greatly.

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Diarrhea

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What's orange and sounds like a parrot? An orange parrot

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Girl: I love you in a platonic way Guy: ... Is that some kind of fat joke!

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What do you call cheese that's not yours? Not your cheese.

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i tell you whats funny......... what? a fat sudanese man

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How did the black man get a nice car? He spent 8 years of his life getting a doctorate so he could be hired at a job that will pay for his desired vehicle.

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Whiney the poo and the blustery day.

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What did the cat say when it stepped in poo? Meow.

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What is worse than a papercut? Losing your legs in Vietnam.

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What do you call a praying mantis at your door step? a Jehovah Witness

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This guys grandma comes to live with him. While shes there she has a stroke. He rushes her to the hospital and waits for her to come out of surgery. The doctor comes out and says "i got good news and bad news" The guy says " give me the bad news" the doctor says "your grandma has had a massive stroke and wont be able to go to the bathroom by herself or eat by herself, so you'll have to feed her baby food and change her Diaper for the rest of her life." So then the guy goes " well crap whats the good news" The doctor goes "Ahh im just kidding she died"

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Q: what is the best way to pick up jewish chicks. A: with a pickup line and possibly a gift such as chocolates or flowers

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What's worse then falling up the stairs? Ketchup

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What do you call an amazing person Good

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What do you do with a dog with no legs? Take it for a drag.

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An Englishman walks into a bar.

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I'm gay.

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Why did you step on my watermelon?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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