What did squidward do when SpongeBob asked him to be his friend on Facebook? 1.declined it 2.got a restraining order against him 3.wondered how computer generated cartoon characters could send and decline friend requests

thumb_up thumb_down -7

What's the difference between a black guy and a bucket of chicken? A lot.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Knock knock Who's there? Me Me who? Just me

thumb_up thumb_down -7

what is yellow with red all over tweety in a blender

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Jesus walks into a hotel, slams four nails down on the counter, and says, "Put me up for the night!" The concierge looks at him and says, "You're not Jesus. Jesus was brutally murdered approximately 1,970 years ago. And although I may not be a believer, his teachings have brought comfort and solace to millions of people around the world. Nor do we accept nails as payment. Please remove yourself from the premises or I will call security."

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Where do you find a dog? At a pet store.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

How do you stop a bus ? Put 3 small children in front of it Whats sad about 3 children who died in a bus crash ? They were my kids. How do you know if you're blind ? You run in to a wall

thumb_up thumb_down -7

BOB:john John:what? BOB:4:59 seconds to get rid of it

thumb_up thumb_down -7

When is a clown happy? At a child's birthday party.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

what do fish smoke? sea weed

thumb_up thumb_down -7

I going to the kitchen to make a #sandwich.....oh wait this isn't twitter

thumb_up thumb_down -7

A bear comes across some people on a camping trip. But he then promptly leaves, because bears aren't inherently aggressive unless caring for their young or if they are provoked.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

What did Osama bin Laden say when he heard loud gunshots outside his millitary compound? A: We'll never find out

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Why are white people white? Cuz they were Born This Way Why are black people black? Cuz they were Born This Way Why are Mexicans so tan? Cuz they were in the sun too long at birth

thumb_up thumb_down -7

A girl walks into a strip club, she was tired of her husband and wanted to see how it was actually done.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Whats the difference between me and a ghost? What? Ghost are not dolphins

thumb_up thumb_down -7

What did the Republican say after he got off the ferris wheel but before he went on the roller coaster? "Boy, that ferris wheel sure was fun! Now I will ride the roller coaster!"

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Dad: i hate you. dads son:(kills him self)

thumb_up thumb_down -7

how did the cat call 9-1-1? very carefully as cats do not have opposable thumbs, making the whole situation rare, and semi-improbable.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

How you do stop a baby from swinging around on the clothesline? Hit it with a shovel.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Why did the girl cross the road? Doesn't matter she got hit by a bus.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

denisssssssssssssss

thumb_up thumb_down -7

What do you call a man who's being followed by 18 black guys? Dave, he's going to work and is stuck in traffic

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Q. What's white, has an orange bill, and looks like a swan? A. a swan

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops