What did the Catholic Priest say to Chris Hanson? Nothing. He attempted to flea, and was quickly taken down by law enforcement. He was then detained and processed and charged with Intent to commit statutory rape with a minor under the age of 14. He's still awaiting trial.

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-Knock, Knock -Who's there? -Carl -Carl wh-wait... carl...CARL OH MY GOD!!!! WE ALL THOUGHT YOU WERE DEAD ,CARL!!!! Where have you been? Oh my god... Mom's DEAD! When we all thought you were dead she hung herself! IT'S YOUR FAULT SHE'S DEAD, CARL! YOUR FAULT!!!!!! YOU ARE AN UNGRATEFUL PIECE OF SHIT CARL! YOU KNOW THAT? I hope you burn in hell.

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A duck walks into a bar and the bartender says"What do u want?" The ducks replays "EVERY DAY IM SHUFFLING!!!" The bartender slaps the duck in its face and quid his job. The bar has a hard time finding a replacement and his business dies. THE END

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i told my parents that i was having friends come over my dad said great my mom said great so i said great

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A family walks into a talent agency. It's a father, mother, son, daughter and dog. The father says to the talent agent, "We have a really amazing act. You should represent us." The agent says, "Sorry, I don't represent family acts. They're a little too cute." The mother says, "Sir, if you just see our act, we know you would want to represent us." The agent says, "OK. OK. I'll take a look." The father begins by juggling some balls. The mother pulls out her harmonica and begins playing "Dixie". The children and dog try and get the dog to jump through a hoop. For the longest time, the agent just sits in silence. Finally, he manages, "That's a hell of an act. What do you call it?" And the father says, "The Aristocrats!"

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What happened when the Trayvon Martin was shot? The media made a huge deal about it and is now making ridicoulus claims that George Zimmerman is racist, and such claims are infringing on his right to a fair trial, and it's all because Trayvon Martin is black.

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Who let the dogs out? Their owner because he had come to the rational conclusion that they were cooped up in their cage all night and were in serious need of relieving themselves and needed love and affection

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How many pancakes does it take to build a doghouse? Pancakes are not a feasible material with which to build a doghouse.

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womens rights

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A blind man jumped out of the way as a car ran through the red light at a one way street.

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So I was walking along the beach one day and I see this whale. Then this dolphin named Lennie came up and was like, "Hey whale, how've you been? I haven't seen you in a while." And the whale was like, "Sorry, but I can't talk to you." And Lennie was like, "Whyever not?" And the whale said, "Because I'm not a starfish!"

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There once were 2 cowboys who were lost on a dusty trail. Later on they found their way out and are now doing very successful

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What does a casino have in common with a woman liqur in the front, and poker in the back

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Roses are red, violets are blue. You're dog is dead. And so is your family.

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What is white and can't climb trees? Powdered sugar.

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Where did little Annie go after the explosion? Everywhere.

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What did the mother of the boy with cancer say on his birthday? - Happy Birthday, too bad you still have cancer.

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What did the penis say to the other penis? What? Penis motherbucker

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What is the difference between a bike and a baby? There are a lot of differences

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Why doesn't my mom make dinner anymore? she died in a fire on my birthday.

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What do you call the black stuff in between an elephant's toes? Depending on the location of the elephant it is either dirt or it may be tar in the case of an elephant in captivity.

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roses are red violets are blue i'll be back in an hour or two

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I'm winning at Scrabble.

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A lady walks into her bedroom and sees her boy friend having sex with another girl. She hears the phone ring and a voice says "your grandma died".

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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