You're a country without the "tree". Did you just call me a cunt?

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Why couldnt the man find his wallet? He didnt have one

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Why did the girl ask for anal? She didn't. She was raped.

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What's the easiest way to load dead babies into a tractor trailer? Pitchfork.

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Q:So there's a black guy and a mexican sitting in a car...who's driving? A: The Cop

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What is the name of Helin Keller's street, state and pet Street: Mahhehb State: Hahgre Pet: habdsa

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I hope you take your own wise words to heart Nero, how would you like to claim to be me and get our ship somewhat on land before it all goes to pieces? After all I have been claiming to be you for a long long time.

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What do men and women have in common? no really what do they have in common

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Touche.try eating something, I eat low carb crap when I am too sleepy, and today I guess it works.

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What did the cat say to the other cat? Meow.

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Who is the Greek god of STDS? Herpies

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What's worse then spilling milk? Instantaneous Human Combustion

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a black guy walks into a black bar

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Q: Why couldn't the black man swim? A: Because ever since he was a child, he has never taken swimming lessons before.

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What did the orange say to the apple? Nothing, fruits can't talk.

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CHUCK NORRIS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!$$$$bOoBiEs

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A man goes to the doctor. The doctor says, I'm sorry but you have about four to six months to live. The man goes home and checks his million dollar life insurance policy.It expires in three months.

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here's a chuck norris fact: Chuck Norris is 5'10 and lost to bruce lee!

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What's weird about four black men in a toilet? No one got shot.

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What's the difference between a pair of slippers and a pair of dead babies? Essentially nothing.

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A plane carrying an Englishman, an Irishman, and a Scotsman is destined to crash unless some weight is lost. First they drop the spare engine, but there is still too much weight. Then they drop the luggage, but still there is too much weight. All three men then jump out. The plane crashes anyway.

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I wont be arriving soon alright, I mean I am a overachiever for many reasons many of them not exactly "gifts" (such as the pain I cant shut up about but focus on other things such as my goal surely keeps my mind occupied enough). Thanks about the looks comment, used to think I was pretty good looking myself, so if I am more than the looks, then I really like that one (I know I am being a bit brash, but I haven't felt this... Better in a long time, and if hell if I will fake low self confidence, modesty is not my thing when I am not in the mood to be charming) By the way, Alice is quoting me, and having a laugh doing so apparently, lets just say I wont be typing myself ever again, my fingers are not... Useful, and honestly typing with one hand was always a bitch. Enough about me, ill have one of "my shadows" send you money for a first class (seriously you have spent enough on me, and now that my city is making a revenue and still advancing, its my turn to return whatever I can) Tell your parents you won the lottery and share some of the money with them I am sending you a bit extra so to speak. And ffs do not worry about my body, not even sure if I will walk again and speaking, well while it hurts (Alice is laughing again) people here concluded I would live for faaar longer than their first prognosis since I never been a fan of shutting up, and as I told them, my mouth will keep yapping about 200 years after I die, so no problemo. Ill send you a first class to... Nvm you take the money, and come around whenev... You know what? Ill send a plane, yeah, because we can afford that, not yours to keep but you know...

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Penis chickens

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Why did the baby cross the road? It was stapled to the chicken.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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