how are a ferrari and a pile of dead babies similar? neither are good to have in your garage when the police come.

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A blonde, a brunette and a redhead dive off a motorboat. They are sucked into the propeller and brutally disfigured instantly.

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what's worse then a blowjob?

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you mooma's like a bowling bowl i pick her up finger her throw her down the gutter and she still comes back for more

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kesha is a virgin.

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Doctor! doctor! I feel like a bridge! That's the least of your problems you've got cancer by ndc

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What do you call a room with an oven and ten Jews in it? A kitchen.

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What did the father say to his son? I'm leaving and I'm not actually your father.

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what do you do when you see the klu klucks klan ? act white

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How do you get a one armed clown out of a tree? Hit it in the face with an axe.

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Why did the little girl fall off the swings? Because she had no arms or legs.

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OMG SOHPIE IS SOOOOO GREAT AT BLOWING Josh Brown xoxo

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What is green and has 4 wheels?... Grass, I lied about the wheels

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Why did the boy cry when he sat on Santa's lap? Because Santa's boner reminded him of his pedophiliac step-father.

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An Englishman, a Welshman, an Irishman and a Scotsman are all stranded on a desert island. After several days spent utilizing the survival skills they had been taught in the Royal Navy, they were eventually evacuated by fellow sailors searching for them. As the only survivors, their stories were vital in preventing such shipwrecks in future.

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Why did Sally drop her ice cream cone? She got hit by a bus Why was Billy laughing? He was driving the bus Why did Bobby drop his ice cream? Billy put the bus in reverse Why was Johnny crying? Sally and Bobby stole the money from his bank account and now he is poor and homeless

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What's the difference between a baby and a textbook? You throw a textbook at the wall with TWO hands.

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How do you cure aids? Jonathon siezed to care as he proceeded to cry when he was told his lemons were over the weight of what he'd expected

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Why did the little boy throw his clock out of the window? After hours of searching for the snooze button to no avail, the little boy became so irritated at the incessant ringing of the alarm that he threw it out of his window in a fit of rage. The clock landed on an old woman who was walking twenty stories below. She was immediately killed on impact.

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How do you get your clock to stop ticking? Hit it with a sledge hammer.

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I dont often wash my hands in the bathroom but when i do its so people dont think im gross.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he was walking.

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If a tree falls in a forest and only one women is there to hear it, does i make a sound? Trick question: there's no forests in kitchens.

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how many jews does it take for me to be able to have sex with my cousin's girlfriend? idk, but that's how many I need. actually let me have some extras. couldn't hurt.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops