What did the mushroom say to the carrot? Is this even important given the current state of world affairs?

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How do you become a dragon ball super saiyan? You sit there and scream like you are giving birth for three minuets

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Nah

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I grunt when I poop.

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What do you call a black man? A person

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What's even worse than getting a parking ticket on your birthday? Child molestation.

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You know that song "FIrework" by Katy Perry? Well, I ate a hotdog last night.

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how do you keep a bunch of black kids from jumping on the bed? your real firm with them and tell them someone may hurt themselves if they don't stop with the horseplay..

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There were 3 children: Flower, Petal and Fridge. Flower asked, "Mum, why is my name Flower?" to which she replied "Because a flower was the first thing to fall on you when you were born." Petal asked, "Mum, why is my name Petal?" to which she replied "Because a petal was the first thing to fall on you when you were born." Fridge said, "Herp derp dur" to which Fridge's mother replied "Shut up, Fridge."

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You are driving a canoe home when the wheels suddenly fall off. How many pancakes does it take to fill a doghouse?

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whats up with the irish jokes? Honestly im not a alcoholic so all of you can go F*** yourselfs...

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What is full of water and drowning people A pool

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How many licks does it take to get to the Tootsie Roll center of a Tootsie Pop? As many as it takes.

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ejaculation JLR

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What do you call a boomerang that doesn't come back? Misthrown

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What's blue and fluffy? Blue fluff. What's green and fluffy? Green fluff. What's red and fluffy? A kitten that got hit by a truck.

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a man walks into a bar some other people get up and greet him as they are his friends. he then has a great night with his friends. he goes home and goes to sleep. he wakes up with a man next to him

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Knock knock. Who's there? The mailman. The mailman who? Anthrax.

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What's the best way to cross the road? Ideally with your feet and legs because disabled people usually don't recommend their unfortunate state of affairs. However there are other alternatives which may or may not be better than common or garden walking, such as crane hire - crossing in a crane bucket in a safe spot; chauffer driven limos, which don't do the straight, direct route, generally; and being carried on a replica of Cleopatra's carry couch (but with modern suspension, unless you prefer the up and down motion).

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Hey dude ask me if im a tree!? Are you a tree? No?

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DING DONG! Did you have to ring the doorbell? You just ruined a good knock knock joke!

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What do black people and tornadoes have in common? - It only takes one to destroy a neighborhood.

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A woman is carried out of a bar.

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A plane carrying an Englishman, an Irishman, and a Scotsman is destined to crash unless some weight is lost. First they drop the spare engine, but there is still too much weight. Then they drop the luggage, but still there is too much weight. All three men then jump out. The plane crashes anyway.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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