i am not a pothead!!! the only time ive evr been high was springbreak last year!!! mm hmm... wat were u doin over spring break to get high? i had jaw surgery and the doctor had me on tons of painkillers

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Q:What does a black guy say when you steal his fried chicken right in front of him? A:"please restrain from taking food that does not belong to you. If you had kindly asked i would have kindly given you some, and right in front of me too! In all my life I've never seen such rudeness and i grew up in the Bronx."

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a man walks into a bar he has a few drinks and announces to his friends that hes driving home, dave (one of his friends) tells him that its a bad idea and takes his keys off of him until the next day.

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...The new series of spinoff movies from the worlds most frightening franchise! Pretty Normal Activity: Doing the groceries *****-Did not scare me at all :D! Ballbusters movie rentals *****- The demon never showed up which made this the scariest movie ever! Could not sleep for months... Whatyumean there is nothing paranormal in this? Aww FU*beep*CK!! Sumgay Inthestreet Journal *****-Pissed myself just from hearing the title got a stroke and almost died!, was it another Paranormal movie you said? Most overhyped comment we could find. Goddamn exaggerated movie reviews that fooled me into buying the original and expect something actually scary :(

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How do you change your dishwasher into a snowblower? Give her a shovel.

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Whats worse then Justin Bieber? It's a trick question, there's is nothing worse than her

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A black man wearing a belt. Oh, he has a shoelace!

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what did the child say to his mother? daddy raped me!

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What's short, green, and has wheels? Grass, I lied about the wheels.

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What's cool about a dead fish? Nothing.

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What's the difference between a Jew and a bar of soap? You don't rub your balls with a Jew.

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Why was the woman crying? Because I hit her with a bat.

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Want to hear a joke? Me too.

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why is my wife crying? because she doesn't like tomatoes

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whats worse than one week in school? two weeks in school. whats worse than two weeks in school? three weeks in school whats worse than three weeks in school? child abuse, killing animals and murder

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What did the caterpillar say when he emerged from his chrysalis? I am a butterfly.

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Why did the black guy not tip his pizza driver? Because he didn't order pizza.

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whats green and has wheels? a green tractor.

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What's yellow and cant walk? The Sun

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What's better then petting a lion? Petting a lion and not getting eaten

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What did Batman say to Robin just before they got in the Batmobile? Robin, get in the Batmobile

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Say the line below sixteen times very fast: I like to find threes and peel of their... BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK... Done? Good boy!

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Q: Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? A: Because it was sick and tired of all the repeated monkey jokes and commited suicide and preceded to fall out of the tree.

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Why can't Helen Keller drive? Because she's dead.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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