How do you get your girlfriend to become more enthusiastic about swallowing? Stick your dick in Ben & Jerry's Cherry Garcia ice cream.

So a man walking down a nature trail came across an injured fox laying on the ground in pain, it looked like it was attacked recently. There wasn't much the man could do at the time, so he gently picked up the fox and rushed the fox to his house. The man arrives moments later at his house with the fox. There were a lot of options the man could choose, but he went with a simple recipe. The man grabbed a knife and gutted the fox, removing all unnecessary organs. He then skinned the fox of it's fur. He sliced the head off, cut the legs to a stub, and stuffed it. He gave it a nice seasoning and placed it in the oven at about 350F for 6 hours. When the fox was perfectly cooked, it was taken out of the oven and left to sit for about 5 minutes to cool. He cut a chunk of meat from the dish and sat down to eat. "What a fine meal" the man said.

What do you call a New Zealander with 1000 lovers? A shepard

What's worse than finding a worm in ur Apple? Finding a worm in ur poop

Why are kids with Aspergers Syndrome always banned from Mcdonalds? Let me repeat that: Ass Burgers.

A man found a magic lamp. He rubbed it and a genie emerged from the lamp. The genie asked what his new master's wishes were. The man wished for asthma.

A: u wanna die? B: does anyone really wanna die, i mean logistically, un-less u are suicidal, why would you wanna die? A: I do wanna die. B: ur a freak and you should consider getting help person A never got help, on his way to getting help at a certified physician he got hit by a bus, his body can be found at the intersection of church ave. and flatbush. And i would say rest in piece but cars drive over him daily, and thats not to peaceful

Whats black, white, and red all over? Hot sauce on a checkerboard.

Knock knock Who's there? You Whoa...

How many jews does it take to change a light bulb? 0. There are no lights at Auschwitz.

One guy asks another guy, "Why did the sleeping man get sucked into the sinkhole?" The other guy replies, "I don't know, I heard about that a few months ago, it seems highly improbable statistically. "

A black man and his mexican friend walk into a bar. The black man orders a drink and the mexican gets soda. He is the designated driver

Q. How did the blind man savvier from walking of a cliff? A. He didn't he died.

NO IT IS MINE! ALL MINE!

What do Michael Jackson and Donkey Kong have in common? They're both famous.

What do retards say when someone knocks on the door... NOBY HOME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!.....................and that concludes our moment of silence

Sarah Palin

Why did Susie start shaking? She had continuous ceasars

Why didn't the white kid go to school? Because it was Martin Luther King day.

what does dana do in her free time? make love with jarrett

What is an emulation? I am not as stupid as I seem by the way, I am just a bit shaky myself, but don't you worry i will answer whatever you need,

Why was the black man kicked out of the restaurant? Blatant racism was still very prevalent at that time and place.

How many chickens does it take for a cow to count on Tuesday? The same reason a horse got fired for seven plus one blue red green.

How did little Jimmy survive the 5 story fall? He didn't

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...