A Hideo Kojima AntiJoke Typed by Hideo Kojima. Idea By Hideo Kojima. Concept By Hideo Kojima Spacing by Hideo Kojima Controlled for typos by Hideo Kojima Overseen By Hideo Kojima Aproved By Hideo Kojima. Reconsidered By Hideo Kojima Accepted by Hideo Kojima What took you so long?

thumb_up thumb_down -14

A man walked into a bar, He then realised that he was likely to become the butt of a joke quite soon and subsequently left to take his kids to the park.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

mom and dad went into the bedroom after a long day at work the fell asleep

thumb_up thumb_down -14

A man walks into a bar. -Can I ask where am I? - he sais -Yes, you can. - sais the barman Awkward silence occurs. -Why aren't you asking? I said you can.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Y the girl tuch her butt she tried To get dookie

thumb_up thumb_down -14

A bus full of retarded kids got broken on his way. One kid suggested to the bus driver that the problem could be with the brakes, as that kid's father was a mechanic.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

why did the chicken cross the road? it was suicidal.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Whats the worst thing about walking through a meadow of dead babies My boner

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Why was Diana crying? Because she was penetrated.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

the holocaust

thumb_up thumb_down -14

People...

thumb_up thumb_down -14

When faced with an impossible question. I like to give, and maybe receive, an impossible, yet endearing, request/answer to the problem. Sex?

thumb_up thumb_down -14

What did Batman say to Robin before they got in the car? Get in the car. -Tag

thumb_up thumb_down -14

antonio is ssooo shexy and smokes

thumb_up thumb_down -14

People who find just saying 69 is the funniest thing ever.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

How are a black man, a hispanic man, and a chinese man similar? Believe it or not they all love cantaloupe!

thumb_up thumb_down -14

What's worse than finding a worm in your apple ? Finding an apple in your worm !!! ... Wait, what ?

thumb_up thumb_down -14

What do you call a blonde surgeon? Not stereotypical

thumb_up thumb_down -14

So a guy is on his way to work and he nearly gets hit by a bus. He sticks his middle finger up at the bus driver but a couple seconds later he realized that it was the same bus he was supposed to get on so he apologized to the bus driver and got on the bus. He was 15 minutes late for the 420th time this week so he was fired from his job and went back home. On his way home he was not allowed on the bus because he left his oyster card somewhere so he had to walk home. 69 minutes later he arrives home to his wife and kids. What did the man say to his wife when he got back home? "Hi."

thumb_up thumb_down -14

all hail based mark

thumb_up thumb_down -14

How do the Chinese name their children? They decide on a name that both parents can agree upon, and they write that on the certificate of birth.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

what is more funny than watching a baby fly in a circle at 100 mph stopping it with a shovel

thumb_up thumb_down -14

A talent agency is giving auditions and is just about to rap it up when a family shows up. They reluctantly agree to their "brief" audition given that they had found no suitable talent that day. The routine starts with the father starting 6 chainsaws at once while simultaneously starting a juggling/lumberjacking routine. His beautiful wife proceeds to toss him additional chainsaws (as he continually throws them for dramatic effect) while also maintaining a hypnotizing dance which seems to drain your desire to leave from your very soul. The children take turns jumping in between the chainsaws while doing a silent replay of the movie, "Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon." After it plays out the father tosses the final chainsaw up in the air which lands standing straight, quivering in the dust of the studio. The studio manager says, "Why that's an AMAZING act!! I'll sign you right now! What do you call your act?" In response to which, the father shits on his desk.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

How many Jews can you fit in a car? It really depends on the make and model of the car, as well as the relative size and weight of the people in question, but legally you can only have as many people in the car as there are seatbelts available for them.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops