canadians

Why was Hellen Keller afraid to answer the phone? This situation is impossible because Hellen suffered from scarlet fever, therefore she could not see or hear the phone.

What did the priest tell his son? Nothing, priests can't have children.

One day, a Hippo was riding a scooter and an ant was sitting on the back seat. Suddenly they meet with an accident. They both fall from the scooter on their heads but only the hippo gets hurt. How??? Because the ant was wearing a helmet.

What's the difference between Donald Trump and a refrigerator? Open a refrigerator and you will find food, typically refrigerated food like milk, eggs, you know, stuff like that.... When you open Donald Trump you will be charged with murder.

What's the difference between a dead baby and a Ferrari? A Ferrari was never alive.

what purple and jolly barney who doesnt love his charactorial warmth!# not weird

Why did the gay guy come out of the closet? He finally found the shirt he was looking for

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A young black guy was explaining how he was raised by a single mother

What's funny about anti-jokes? Nothing.

What do you call a gay scientologist? His first name or last name, depending on how close you 2 are.

Have you seen Stevie Wonder's new house No Neither has he.

What do you call a Mexican? Whatever his name is you racist.

You're always working, why don't you spend some time with your daughter? be a good father. But i already am. We're sleeping together while you work every night.

I went to the opticians to get my eyes checked. The optician said "you need glasses".

Roses are red,Violets are blue, I like Tities and so do you

How do you stop a black man from bleeding? You give him a bandaid. What if he keeps crying? Tell him to stop. What if he cries more? Buy him an ostrich.

Jesus walks into a hotel, slams four nails down on the counter, and says, "Put me up for the night!" The concierge looks at him and says, "You're not Jesus. Jesus was brutally murdered approximately 1,970 years ago. And although I may not be a believer, his teachings have brought comfort and solace to millions of people around the world. Nor do we accept nails as payment. Please remove yourself from the premises or I will call security."

dont you love porch monkeys? no.

knock knock who's there? rude, interrupting cow rude, interrupting cow who? just kidding, its steve. cows can't talk

What does Santa and a grape have in common? They're both purple, except Santa.

Why did the man cry when he received his meal at McDonalds? They didn't give him a happy meal.

What's the difference between a pizza and a black man? It would be cannibalism to eat a black man.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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