Why did Sarah fall off the swing? She didn't have any arms Knock, Knock. Who's there? Not Sarah...

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A wife asks her husband if he can fix the sink and he responds with Do I have plumber written on my forehead. Then she asks him if he can fix the porch and he responds with Do I have contractor written on my forehead. So the husband goes on vacation and comes back to find the sink and porch fixed and he asks his wife how it is fixed and she says that the new neighbor helped. So she says the neighbor said he would only do it for cake or sex. The husband respond by saying Which one did you choose. His wife responds by saying Do I have Betty Crocker written on my forehead.

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How many dead babies does it take to screw in a light bulb? Because they're dead, they cant screw in a light bulb. Even if they were alive, it would be highly improbable that a baby could screw in a light bulb.

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What happens when you cross a kangaroo and an elephant? Absolutely nothing. The two belong to entirely different animal families and their reproductive abilities are totally incompatible. A kangaroo could never fertilize an elephant, or vice versa. To suggest anything else is unrealistic and a physical impossibility.

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Have you seen Stevie Wonders new house? No. Neither Has He.

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A pirate walks into a bar, and the bartender asks, "why do you have a wheel in your pants?"

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Henry's mom packed Henry sweaters And lots of things besides sweaters Henry went to war He saw lots of gore Logically, he wouldn't need a sweater because he had to wear his uniform during the battle. Did i mention that Henry likes chocolate?

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rofl lol, the joke below me has made my computer offer to translate this page. It thinks it's in Spanish

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How much does a polar bear weigh? Enough to severely injure a human.

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What is the difference between Santa and a Jew? Santa is a fictional character used to represent Christmas, Jews celebrate Hanukkah.

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Did the single mother survive the plane crash? No.

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What do you call a black man with a PhD.? A Doctor! What are you, racist?

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Q) How many boring people does it take to screw in a light bulb? A) One

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What did the dog say to the tree? Bark.

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I was gonna smack jakes titties...but michael was already doing it....:/

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what did the murderer say to the man... i'm going to kill you

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Donald Trump

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What happened to the little boy who threw a spitball at the teacher? He was killed the next day when the teacher, who had a history of mental instability and schizophrenia, decided to go on a shooting rampage in class.

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why are black people so good at sports? hard work and dedication

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Knock Knock whose there YOUR MOM

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How do you kill a retard? you shoot him in the head

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A man walks into a bar and sees two girls making out. He orders a drink and leaves.

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why did the man get arrested? because he was a thief, and thieving is completely unacceptable in a civilised society

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whats black and yellow a chinese with a bruise

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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