What do you call a cow without legs? Disabled.

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Q: Where do zombies shop? A: Zombercrombie.

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why did the pancake eat a spanish holiday? Because a plane crashed into his condominium

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Roses are red Violets are blue I'm allergic to both Now I'm dead

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Well, there's one way...

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What's worse than ants in your pants? Uncles.

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What did the blind, deaf and mute kid get for Christmas? Cancer

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What did the Jew say to the black guy? Hey whatsup?

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Vagina jokes aren't funny. Period. Damnit, ignore that.

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here's my two cents worth! *hands you two pennies , entire life savings*

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Why was the Mexican sleeping? He wishes to decrease his risk of motor vehicle accidents.

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Whats worse than having a parking cone rammed up your ass? Realizing that a big orange cone is up your ass.

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Knock, Knock, Who's there? The IRS.

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Why did Sara fell off her swing? She has no arms. Knock Knock Who's there? Not Sara

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How many lesbians dose it take to finish a pizza? One or unless she invites some freinds over.

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Why was the dog barking? Because I lit him on fire.

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A Blonde Goes On "Who Wants To Be A Millionaire"

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-Is this the Krusty Krab? -Yes, how can I help you?

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Why does history repeat itself? Because no one listened to it the first time.

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Why did the lightbulb cross the road? It must have had an external force acting upon it. Lightbulbs are inanimate objects and cannot make decisions or move voluntarily. Someone must have thrown it. It broke. Someone should clean it up.

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What do a vampire and a ginger have in common they're both afraid of the sunligh- oh wait this anti jokes ohhhhhhh oh well

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koj yog ib tug tsoob qaib eater, uas nyiam mus rau Peer li qub poj niam qhov chaw mos raws li ib tug nyiam ua! (Google Translate may help)

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A grasshopper walks into a bar. The bartender says, "Hey, we have a drink named after you!" Surprised, the grasshopper replies, "You have a drink named 'Bob'?"

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A woman was shopping at her local supermarket where she selected: a half-gallon of 2% milk, a carton of eggs, a quart of orange juice, a head of romaine lettuce, a 2 lb. can of coffee and a 1 lb. package of bacon. As she was unloading her items on the conveyor belt to check out, a drunk standing behind her watched as she placed the items in front of the cashier. While the cashier was ringing up her purchases, the drunk calmly stated, “You must be single.” The woman was a bit startled by this proclamation, but she was intrigued by the derelict’s intuition, since she was indeed single. She looked at her six items on the belt and saw nothing particularly unusual about her selections that could have tipped off the drunk to her marital status. Curiosity getting the better of her, she said “Well, you know what, you’re absolutely correct. But how on earth did you know that?” The drunk replied, “Cause you’re ugly.”

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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