What's big and green and would probably kill you if it fell out of a tree? A pool table.

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tiger woods played golf against peyton manning and yet tiger still cant win.

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Why did Helen Keller become blind and deaf? Because you touch yourself at night

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I like the color potato.

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Q: What's gray and comes in gallons? A: Gray paint.

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How do you kill an elephant? -With a gun? No, an elephant gun. How do you kill a red elephant? -With an elephant gun? No, with a red elephant gun. How do you kill a blue elephant? -WIth a blue elephant gun? No, you choke it until it turns blue and kill it with a red elephant gun. How do you kill a purple elephant? Theres no such thing as a purple elephant, thus contradicting the reality of performing a major act of animal abuse on it.

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What did the guy say when he came out of the closet? Where's my green shirt?

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Your momma so poor, she has a hard time paying her bills.

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DON'T TOUCH MY DUCK, IT HAS A ONE DOLLAR BILL

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A man walks into a bar He drinks the night away with his friends *Plot Twist* It was a dream He has no friends.

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What do two Jews have in common? They both practice the same religion.

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How did leatherface cut a tree when he lost his chainsaw? He just asked a friendly neighbor to borrow him a axe

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Q. What did Michael Jackson say to the banana? A. Nothing, he's dead.

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Whats black, white, and red all over? Hot sauce on a checkerboard.

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A man sees Bill Murray at a restaurant in Los Angeles and tells his friends about the incident. They believe the story, because it is entirely plausible that it actually happened.

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Why did the Police Officer pull over the black man? The black man was not following the rules of the road and accepted the ticket with great remorse. The Officer then proceed to pull over a white man for this very same offence.

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I was reading a book about antigravity, but I put it down because it was boring.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? A vast quantity of things.

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404: Anti-joke not found.

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How many ADHD kids does it take to change a light bulb? Let's go ride our bikes!

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What did the Icelandic man say to the Norwegian man? Vishtok yerder poten hash vil narsh varden.

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Man I just flew in from Pittsburgh...Boy are the people ugly.

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What did the Joker say to Batman? Why are we wearing these stupid costumes

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why did Sarah fall out of the swing? she had no arms. Knock knock. who's there? not Sarah.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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