Q:Why didnt the stoner go to college? A:Because he died of lung cancer.

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What did the dead man say to God? I'm dead.

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Q: What's blue and smells like baby. A: A choking baby.

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he took my chicken i shoot him in the foot and raped his dog

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What do you call a person from China? Chinese, duh.

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How many babies does it take to paint a house? Depends how you throw 'em.

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sex with dead people. they can't say no;)

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Why did Sarah limp to school? Because she got hit by a tree

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Are yu mad Twinkle twinkle little star if yu don't shut up I'm gonna hit you with my freaking car

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What did the man say to the ugly woman? Your face makes my penis soft.

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What did the woman find when she got home from the post office? Her son's corpse hanging from a clothes hanger. She was an abusive mom, and he killed himself.

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What is white and will kill you if it fell out of a tree? Charles Manson

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A fish swims into a wall. It does not say anything, seeing as fish do not possess vocal chords and therefore are incapable of speech.

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What do you call white trash Garbage

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Why doesn't little jimmy ride his favourite bike to school any more? He was playing on the platform at at the railway station, tripped and fell across the track, at which point a seven carriage train came through at over 150 mph and cut through his upper thighs crushing everything in his legs and causing them to fall off.

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There are 3 guys named:Poop, Shut up and Manners. They all were speeding down the street, they took a sharp turn and Poop fell out of the back. A cop pulled them over while Manners got out to go get Poop. The cop says, "whats your name." "Shut up." "No seriously whats your name." "Shut up" he says a little bit harsher. "Wheres your manners?" the cop says. "Back there picking up Poop."

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What happened when the little girl said Bloody Mary 3 times in the dark? - She got her head smashed in the mirror, all of her intestines were neatly ripped out and was stabbed to death with No.2 mechanical pencils. Then her parents came home from dinner to find their daughter brutally killed in her own room. They notified police, opened a case and gave up after 12 years of searching for her killer. Both parents cried for the amount of years their daughter had been gone and they both decided to kill each other. The father raped the mom while slitting the back of her neck that led to her head being detached. Then the father left his pick up truck running and through his head toward the engine, which didn't really work. So he went back inside and watched Three and A Half Men.

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What is life? It is a sexually transmitted disease which always ends in death. There is currently no known cure.

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What is green and has wheels? Grass. I was just lying about the wheels part.

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Q: What's worse than finding out yor girlfriend is a guy? A: He had sex with your dad.

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This is no joke. Well, I did warn you.

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Whats the difference between a sack of babies and a sandwich? A Sand which floats when you put it into a large body of water.

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What's the difference between a bicycle? An orange because it has no sleeves.

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Chuck Norris counted to infinity; by calculating the sum of a divergent series.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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