Why did a little kid have a long face Because his face was stretched out by a truck wheel

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There once was a man from Peru, he couldn't fit into his shoe. He went to Brazil bought a big. Swallowed it and died.

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What's the difference between ice cream and babies? I don't stick babies in my freezer...

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How do you make a plumber sad? Kill his family...

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My left foot has 6 toes, my right face has 8 Q-tips -Matt

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Lance Armstrong gets on a bike

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knock knock. no one answered so the man at the door went home.

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Bee1:Boo Bee2:Boo Look i found 2 boobies:)

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A Blonde arives at the airport late, and misses her flight. The airline provides her with a complimentary ticket for a later flight and she departs on that.

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Why did the guy in the wheelchair die? He was mauled by tigers.

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Q. At the main menu why are there two people sad? A. Because there is.

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Knock Knock DAMMIT WOMAN MAKE ME A SAMMACH

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What's the best anti-pest control of all time???? The Holocaust.

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What's black, white and red all over? A nun that's just been shot.

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Yesterday I was walking my dog and while I was walking my dog, guess what happened? It got hit by a bus.

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why didnt the little boy say goodbye to his mom because he got hit by a bus

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What's the funniest thing about the holocaust? Nothing it wasn't a joke

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you're mommas so fat that her doctor says she is morbitly obese and may die of a heart failure later in life

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Barbara Streisand

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Why was the boy sleeping on the curb? he wasn't actually sleeping, he actualy just got hit by a car and had already died.

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How many Polacks does it take to screw in a light-bulb? One. A person's ethnicity or country of origin, or religion for that matter, would have no bearing on one's ability to perform the relatively simple task of installing a light-bulb. Furthermore, there is no reason to use the negative slur 'polack' when referring to a person of Polish descent.

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You are in an airplane, and you have 500 bricks. You throw one out the door. How many do you have? 499. What are the 3 steps to putting an elephant in a fridge? 1-open the door,2-put the elephant in,3-close the door. How do you put a giraffe in the fridge? You open the door, take the elephant out, put the giraffe in, and shut the door. The lion king is having a party for all the animals… which one didn't go? The giraffe, it's in the fridge. An old lady is trying to cross an alligator infested river. She makes it over. How? The alligators are at the party. She dies anyway. How? She gets hit by the brick you threw out of the window.

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A man is talking with his friend when suddenly he picks up a banana. He starts talking with the banana, and after a while of conversing the man sadly puts down his banana and says to his friend, "I'm sorry but your son has just died in a horrible accident."

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How did sarah break her arm? She was in a tragic car accident. An ambulance arrived and quickly rushed her to the hospital where she was cared for by medical professionals.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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