Q: what is blue and floats in a pool? A: a baby Q: what is purple and at the bottom of the pool? A: the baby 5 minutes later

your mama so fat she has a low self esteem

Peg leg Pete, yay, I know stuff too, I watched that one all the time when I was a girl.

What's red and looks like a bucket? A red bucket. What's blue and looks like a bucket? A red bucket in disguise.

How many frogs does it take to change a light bulb None. Frogs lack the cranial capacity to change said lightbulb. If eventually by evolution they become smart enough to change lightbulbs, they may learn to handle machinery and pose a real threat to humans.

what did the blind, deaf, retarded child, without any arms or legs get for Christmas? nothing, his parents are dead

why did the squirrel cross the road? -because it was stapled to the chicken.

Q. What's short and black A. A little black kid

What's the difference between a smart blonde and bigfoot? There's been sittings of bigfoot

Your mama is so stupid she has an IQ lower than an average person.

Your mother is so fat that when she looks in the mirror she is deeply upset by her appearance.

Once upon a time, A lonely man was living in the woods. He died of exhaustion, dehydration, starvation, and bacterial infection. The end. Once upon a time, Another lonely man was living in the woods. He built a house, made a well, made a farm, got married, had kids, and had a wonderful life. The end.

Why did the white guy sit on the bench while the black guys were playing basketball? His mother was calling, and his AP scores were coming in that day. Those scores were important to him.

why did the duck fall in the water? It got shot

Q. have you seen Helen Keller house A. niether has she

A blonde was drinking water from the water fountain. She was very thirsty.

Why do jews get their foreskin cut off? Because they're jewish.

My dog got out of it's cage. So I found it and be the shit out of

What does a carrot and a potato have in common? They're both not chocolate

what would george washington do if he was alive today? he would scream and scratch his coffiin

who's yellow , and looks like a bear? pudsey

Knock Knock! Who's there? No one. No one is ever going to be there for you. Also, you're adopted.

What do you tell someone who says they are contemplating suicide? where to find some cheap cyanide

A buddhist,islamist and a prohibitionist walk into a bar.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...