how many birds did chuck norris kill with one stone? one.

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If you give a mouse a cookie... ...you're destroying its natural diet. It might die.

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i have to tell you a knock knock joke. but you have have to start it..

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Roses are grey, Violets are grey, Im a dog. RUUUFFF!

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Q: Why did the Westboro Baptist Church picket the gay marine’s funeral? A: Homosexuals are a plague sent by Satan to destroy the fabric of America.

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why was the black man scared of cats ? Because a gang of cats ate his family

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a man walks into a bar, only it was an alternate universe so there were dogs running the bar. the bartender dog called human control because it was unsanitary to have a human in a bar. the human was then escorted out by another dog and was taken to a hotel where he received no continental breakfast.

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What do you call two banana's on someone's feet? Garbage.

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What did the woman say to her rapist? I've had better.

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What do you call a seagull that flew into the bay? Wet.

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What did the Dementia sufferer get for Christmas?

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Why couldn't Sarah see through her telescope? She was blind

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What did the dyslexic say to the nun? When I write, I typically misplace letters in words.

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What do you call a muslim in an airplane? Whatever his name may be, though you could, of course, choose not to address him, though if it were a two-seater plane, it would be good manners to exchange polite conversation.

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My neighbours found out this morning that I'm a serial killer. Knock knock [L]

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What do you call a midget driving a train? A conductor

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Yo momma is so ugly, that your father can no longer stand her. They are getting divorced.

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Knock Knock Whos there? It was the unexpected arrival of his wifes lover who'd been having an affair with her for over a year She thought her husband would be out and forgot to tell him not to come The husband started breaking down in tears whilst throwing insults at both of them, grabbing the man by his collar and throwing him on the ground he started to kick his head in The man died and the husband and wife divorced, theres now a bench in the mans local park dedicated to him.

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I used to tell people: step on my foot on purpose and ill FUCKlNG BREAK YOURS! Then I Evolved.. friendly r*pist neighbourhood Moral Man: Thumb me down or step on my foot if only on mistake, and I will break off both your legs and ram them up your ASS!

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Q: what is blue and floats in a pool? A: a baby Q: what is purple and at the bottom of the pool? A: the baby 5 minutes later

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A young farmers cow died in an oil burning, The farmer then said to his son; you get the milk ill get the shovel

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What do you do if you have a worm in your apple you throw it away

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Yo mamma is so fat She has to wear big pants and is easily fatigued.

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how do people without arms and legs have sex? no one has sex with people without arms and legs.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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