Selena Gomez and Justin Bieber where walking in New York . They both get ice cream... then bieber gets hit by a bus.

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How does a black man put puzzles together? First, he locates the four corners. Next, he begins filling in the sides. Finally, he uses the picture on the box to fill in the center. It can be a very tedious process if he is not paying attention.

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Your adopted.....

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burn baby burn your nanas burning

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Four surgeons are taking a coffee break: 1st surgeon says "Accountants are the best to operate on because when you open them up, everything inside is numbered." 2nd surgeon says "Nah, librarians are the best. Everything inside them is in alphabetical order." 3rd surgeon says "Try electricians, man! Everything inside them is color coded." 4th surgeon says "I prefer Chelsea fans. They're heartless, spineless, gutless and their heads and asses are interchangeable."

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what happened to the guy that got shot in the head? Nothing, it was a water gun.

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Pi and i are having an argument about the state of modern mathematics. Pi goes into a frenzy and i says "be rational". Pi does not realise that i was just being friendly, and so tells him: "get real". [L]

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Why didn't the chicken cross the road? Because it's in a chicken coop.

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If somebody chucks skittles at you saying taste the frickin rainbow Run over them with a car and say "NationWide is on your side!!! ????

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It got hit by a rocket.

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A pilot walks into a bar just before his last flight of the day. "Give me a stiff one to get through this last flight, I've had a long day," the pilot tells the bartender. The bartender promptly refuses the pilot service and kicks him out of the bar, since operating an aircraft under the influences of alcohol would at least constitute gross negligence and at worst, murder.

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What do you get if you mix rice with slightly different flavoured rice? Rice.

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What's the difference between a pile of dead babies and a Lamborghini? I don't have a Lamborghini in my garage.

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Q: what do you call a guy with no arms and no legs floating in the ocean? A: A very unfortunate individual.

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Knock Knock Who's there? Hitler... Time to go to Aushcwitz

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Why do firemen wear red suspenders? To keep their pants up.

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Knock knock. Who's there? I am. I am who? I am pregnant.

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Why couldn't Hellen Keller drive? Because she was blind, not to mention deaf and mute.

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How many women does it take to unscrew a light bulb? Usually just one, and a ladder.

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Why can't Helen Keller drive? Because she's dead.

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One day I walked into my backyard I saw a squirrel Then I was like oh hey squirrel

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why did the chicken cross the road ...WHO FREAKING CARES!!!!

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Knock knock Who's there? Oh. I was just making sound effects.

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We have come to the United States in search of a just, and profitable land, but we have found a place of bigots and racists.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops