Why did the man tell the child to get into the van? They were late for a field trip.

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Anne frank dies days before camp was liberated.

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IF YOU ARE A GUY: Think about a really hot girl. She has the perfect chest, amazing face, blonde hair, and looks flat out stunning. She takes off her shirt which is very appealing and causes for you to get excited because you might get lucky. She takes off her pants, or skirt depending on the choice that you decided upon when imagining this girl, and is walking towards you in nothing but a bra and panties. She continues to take off her bra and gets on top of you. You passionately kiss and afterwords she whispers in your ear, "are you ready for some of this?" you nod your head and she proceeds to remove her panties. Let's freeze this situation for a moment. Assuming that you would ever be in a situation like that there has to be a catch right? A hidden camera, her husband comes home, a rabbid zombie crashes through the door...something. I am happy to tell you that there are no worries about this because nothing will stop you from making sweet and beautiful love to this woman. So let's get back to the scenario. You not your head and quickly tear off your clothes and begin exploring her body. Now turn her 64 and give her a penis with an amazing amount of pubic hair, make her fat, and submit to this manlady. You ask how this happened? Earlier that evening you took a particularly large amound of LSD, or acid if you prefer, and began tripping out. You began seeing ugly people as hot people, and hot people as ugly people. Your friends were concerned because you were hitting on a tree and started humping it at which you were removed from the party by your date who just so happened to be a fat and ugly hermaphrodite who repeatedly raped you and made you cry in submition to her kinky tactics. Drugs are bad, but they make for interesting stories for your friends to tell their children when they get older at your expense.

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What is small, naked and covered in sperm My son

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Hi, this is luke. Luke, I am your father. I burned my father's body after he died saving my life on a large space station. You're not my father, stop calling.

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What is black and blue? A pen with reversable ink.

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Why did they call the woman crazy? because she drowned her children in a lake.

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Two pandas walked into a bar. The bar was in china.

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An atheist dies and so will we all, eventually.

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a guy walks into a bar.. ouch

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Roses are black Violets are black I'm blind

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I like to thumb up my own jokes.

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Why did the dinosaurs become extinct? Because they wanted to.

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A horse walks into a bar. It doesn't order anything or say anything because it is a horse. It proceeds to walk around and knock over a few tables before finding the door.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Hearing the same holocaust joke seventeen times.

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What did the resently released criminal get for his birthday? a nice sweater

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"Oren" Tifa is not around here, besides she does not like you anymore, get lost you wacko!

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Ever hear the joke about the blind guy taking care of the baby ? ... Good, because it's not funny to make fun of blind people and I doubt a blind guy would ever be legally taking care of a baby.

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What's the difference between a book. A tree's leaves hit the trash cans

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Girls soccer

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While i was driving, my son asked, 'Have you had an accident in the last 5 years Dad?' And I replied, 'You're almost four now son'.

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How do you get a clown to shut up? Hit him in the face with an axe

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how do you know your sister is on her period? you dads dick taste like blood.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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