i keep getting thumbs down...

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What's funnier than a jalapeño? A jalapeño on a stick.

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whats the difference between justin beiber and a gay guy? both guys and girls like gay guys

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What does an elephant and a plum have in common? They are both purple... except for the elephant

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What happened to that guy who fell? He died from car accident 3 days later.

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Where does the girl with one leg work? Ihop

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What's the difference between a pizza and a jew? The list goes on.

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Three men are facing a firing squad. They are all promptly executed. Even if they were to escape by distracting the executioners, they would no doubt be shot down before they could get for.

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What is similar between a dog and a cat? They are both dogs except for the cat.

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Did you hear about the blind man who got stuck by a bus? Poor guy never saw it coming.

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Why can't you hear a pterodactyl going to the bathroom? (Other): "Because the P is silent." Because they're extinct.

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Where does a blind person drive a car? Into a tree.

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Wuy are Kenyans so fast? Because due to variations in evolution, people from that part of the world have a better muscle build to run at higher speeds than equally trained athletes from other parts of the world.

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Why are fish bad at basketball? Because they're afraid of the net...

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Johnny Manziel is the best quarter ever (this isn't a joke just a true statement)

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A black man walks into a bar. The barman says 'We don't serve your kind here'. The man leaves and goes to a nearby bar that doesn't have racist staff.

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A black man is seen next to a dead man. Who do you call? The ambulance.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? I really hate poultry related jokes.

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What if someone sold your socks to a Jew? I would blackflip through the air and shit on his chest.

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How do you make a great cake? Bett Crocker books

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A man is hungry so he gets on his coat and shouts : "I AM GOING TO THE STORE!". His wife says not to because the police say the rapist 'Eggman' is out again. He says he will be very careful. On his way he hears 'They are the Eggmen, I am the Eggmen-" and the man shouts: "AND I AM THE WAlRUS, SO GET THE HECK OUTTA MY FACE OR I WILL KOO-KOO KOO-JOOB YOU AND YOUR CHILDREN!" The Eggman and the man found two more people from Liverpool and formed the band 'The Beatles'. The Eggman shot the Walrus in 1980 after the band broke up.

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Why the chimp fell off the tree? Because it's dead.

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So once upon a midnight dreery.... In a galaxy far far away that takes place in the past but resembles a technologically advanced future, an evil sith overlord took an innocent Jedi knight and turned him in a cybernetic killing machine. In the end, he dies

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The homeless man first experience warmth....in Hell

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops