When I was in 4th grade, I was fat. The other kids would take my lunch and spit in all the food, then give it back. Teachers started to wonder why I wasn't eating, and soon began to ask me if I was anorexic. I replied, "do I look anorexic!?" I'm now 6 foot 3 and weigh 56 pounds. *FUN FACT: based on a heartwarming true story.

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Q: What do you call an alligator in a vest? A: An investigator

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What's red and green and goes 100mph? A frog in a vehicle on the Autobahn.

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Knock knock who's there I killed your family

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"Knock knock" "The doors open" "Oh, okay"

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A man arrives at his work late, his boss says "why are you late?" Then man replys "...................." he was dead.

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A black man from Harlem walked in to a store. He then proceeded to buy a few items using money he had earlier procured by working dilligently.

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Yo mamma is so old that she lives in a retirement home for the aged, and will most likely die there in several years.

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person 1:hello person 2:hello person 1:do you want to hear a joke ? person 2:yes person 1:good bye person 2:good bye

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seven guys rob a bank, they share it in this ratio 2:2:2:4:2:5:2 who got the most money? you don't know

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Knock Knock Who's there The military. We're under attack. The military we're under attack who? Dinos

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Why was the little boy cold? Cause he was traped In a fridge

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Due to a lack of awareness of its surrounding, it died attempting to cross the road.

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A man walks into a bar he's drunk and can't feel it But he's ok

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A brachiosaurus walks into a cafe "Excuse me I'm an herbivore, can I have a full English breakfast, but with veggie sausages instead of normal sausages, and mushrooms instead of bacon?" Shop keeper: "No you can't. Your too big. You've destroyed my kitchen, and my livelihood. I have nothing left. You've accidently reduced my business to rubble by walking through the door"

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Why did the man kill the hamster? To get to the other side.

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What did the Muslim do when he got on the bus? He realized he was in the wrong place and got on a plane and blew it up.

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whats sad about a ton of blacks in a limo going off a cliff. they'll destroy the car

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Mind magic for fuck ups: Did you know you can train your dog to magically arrive by saying YOUR name! Just tell it what your name is a lot and voila! Moral: made me laugh, fuck the rest of you XD

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Two men walk into a bar. You would think the second man would have seen it. Made by Bobbie Pummel

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Why did Suzy fall off the swing? She had no arms. *knock knock* -Who's there? -Not Suzy.

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Knock knock Who's there Fookie Fookie Who? Fook you too

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Why did the little boy chase after his ball? Because it rolled away

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Why did the football player walk so funny? He went to Penn State!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops