Little Timmy walks up to the teacher during class and asks "Can i use the restroom?" The teacher says "I don't know, CAN you?" Little Timmy says "When I was using "can" I was using its secondary model form as a verbal modifier asking for permission, as opposed to expressing an ability. I thought since you were a teacher you'd know that. My bad. MAY I use the restroom?"

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What's so great about twenty-three year olds? There's twenty of them.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side! :)

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Knock. Knock. Who's there? Anonymous. Anonymous who? Exactly.

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A man loses his wife in a car accident He then fall into a deep depression then hangs himself.

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Whats worse than burnt toast? Getting molested

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Knock, Knock. Come in!

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Andy: Mom, I wish I was a dinosaur. Mom: Aw, that's cute! Why? Andy: Because dinosaurs do not suffer from terminal pancreatic cancer.

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A man walks into a bar... OW!!!

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What's black and can't speak? A garbage can.

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A Muslim walks into a bar, and has a pint of lager because he has chosen to integrate into his host country's culture. He then leaves without incident.

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Whats black, dead, and hangs from a tree in my backyard? Your Mom

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An Asian tries to climb a staircase in a wheelchair. He finds this difficult, because he is in a wheelchair.

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What's the hardest thing to do while masturbating? Having sex.

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Faithful men.

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Justin's life

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What did the clown say when he was denied health insurance? Nothing, he died of his pre-existing heart condition.

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Why is this website called anti-jokes? i don't know but it makes sense.

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You know what likes to get fisted? Sock puppets.

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Why couldn't Matilda walk to school? Because a dog ripped her legs off.

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Is your daddy a thief? Because he stole my wallet.

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How much wood could a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could Chuck Norris? All of it.

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Why did the old woman fall down She got shot

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Joe: it says gullible on the ceiling Jack: yes, I wrote it -by Ross

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops