Friends are like balloons.. If you stab them they die.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

What's worse than having cancer? Two people having cancer

thumb_up thumb_down +18

whats worse than biting your apple and finding a worm? WWII.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Why doesn't Mexico have an Olympic team? They do, they just choose not to compete certain years.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Periods are red, waffles are blue, some poems rhym, this one doesn't.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Snow White found a magic lamp in the middle of the forest. She rubbed it and became pregnant because the spout was a penis.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

What's brown and sticky? A lump of shit.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

If you go to a restaurant and you have more food on your plate then someone who is obese, you KNOW you have too much food.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

What did Santa say to the prostitute? "Merry Christmas!"

thumb_up thumb_down +18

What's black, white, black, white, black, white, and red? A horse with it's heard chopped off.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

What's endangered like the Spotted Owl? A Cancer patient.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Why did the pumpkin stop using the jack hammer? Pumpkins cannot use power tools since they are nothing but orange gourds. But, [for sport] say this ‘pumpkin’ was incarnate; one could assume he was done with his demolition work. He then would return the portable drill to the rental facility and get his deposit back.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Harry to Voldemort: Your mother is so fat, her patronus is a cake!

thumb_up thumb_down +18

A man had come into a bar. No wait, it was a horse. A man had come into a horse.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Why did the blonde go to business school? She wanted to get into business, and decided that a business degree was a good place to begin.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Why did Hitler kill so many Jews? Because he didn't like them.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Why did Shrek eat the onions? Anyone who has seen the Shrek films would know that Shrek never mentions anything about eating onions. In the first movie, Shrek and donkey have a conversation in which he compares himself to an onion, but the scene lasts maybe a minute and never again does Shrek mention onions in any way, shape, or form. For whatever reason, this one scene has turned onions into the strongest signature icon associated with Shrek.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Roses are red, Violets are red, Trees are red, Bushes are red, Oh shit, my garden is on fire

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Why did Kristi drop her chap-stick? Kristi was of the many children held in hostage of the Jewish heritage during the times of Hitler's wrath. At the Concentration camps they were not given the opportunity to maintain a healthy, average diet thus decreasing her body strength. No longer could Kristi hold her chap-stick - alas her frail little fingers slowly released the cylinder shaped tube and hopelessly watched it hit the ground. As it hit the ground, a cloud of dust swept over Kristi's body. At the same time Kristi was taking a big whiff of fresh air (just kidding, the air at concentration camps were not fresh - it reeked of acid) she accidentally inhaled the dirt which fled through her body and made her faint. She woke up and it was a dream, lol.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

What's the difference between a duck? A toothbrush, because a car only has four doors!

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Why did the little girl fall off the swing? Because Acl tear stepped on a spit.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

why couldnt james zatts swim? he was half black

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Why did the dog stop barking. It was given a good reason to.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

roses are blue violets are red... i have to use the bathroom

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops