- Anti Joke

How do you know a blonde's been in your refrigerator?? There's lipstick on the cucumber!

How can you tell if a man is choking? Stick a fridge down his throat

It's valentines today! My girlfriend died.

what do u do if a women serves you lunch in the living room? u tighten the chain!!!!!!

So much with being an author... You with the Feds? The CIA?

How can you tell if a blonde has been using your computer? Ask her.

Yo mamas so ugly that when she looked out the window, she was arrested for mooning.

Why did the guy in the wheelchair die? He was mauled by tigers.

What did the pet lion say to its owner? Nothing. Lions do not have the ability to speak. The lion then proceeded to hunt down its owner, pin him down and rip out his insides. Besides, the likelyhood of owning a lion as a pet is very slim, and even if one did, this act would be highly illegal in most parts of the world.

What's the difference between car keys and truck keys? Literally nothing.

When an intellectual was told by someone, "Your beard is now coming in," he went to the rear entrance and waited for it. Another intellectual asked what he was doing. Once he heard the whole story, he said: "I'm not surprised that people say we lack common sense. How do you know that it's not coming in by the other gate?"

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Boy, do I love chicken strips. Sometimes, when I’m home alone, I’ll take some chicken strips fresh out of the oven and rub them in my scalp. It doesn’t do much for my hair health, but I like the way they feel running through my strands of hair. The flakey coating, smooth white meat, and warmth. Yum.

What did the boy say to his father? I don't know. With the seemingly infinite number of topics that two people could discuss and the fact that both the father and son are fictional, it would be unreasonable and border edge mentally unstable for me to assume that you would know what they may or may not be talking about.

Q) What do you call a black president? A) Mr. President

You know whats better than 24? 25

A man walks to his coathanger and shouts: "I AM GOING TO THE STORE!" his wife says not to because the Rapist 'Eggman' was out again. He says he will be careful. On his way to the store, he hears "They are the Eggmen, I am the Eggen-" but the man shouts "AND I'M THE WALRUS, SO SHUT UP AND GET OUTTA MY FACE OR I'LL KOO-KOO KOO-JOOB YOU AND YOUR CHILDREN!" the Eggman and the singer became friends and found two more from Liverpool who were excellent musicians. They formed the band 'The Beatles'. The Eggman shot the Walrus in 1980 after the band's breakup.

Knock, Knock. Who's there? Elephant. Elephant who? Seatbelt.

knowone loved me why???????????????????????? because they were so damm ugly

a robber walks into a bank. he steals everything and kills the guards

What happened after the man with no arms and legs lost his keys? He called the police.

What did the guy at the office order on his pizza. Pepperoni :)

What did the dog say to the cat? Nothing, his mouth was full of it's intestines.

your mom is so fat, she stepped on the scale and said, "I really need to eat better and I'm thinking about getting a gym membership." She did so, and she lost so much weight that all her friends congratulated her everywhere she went, and some didn't even recognize her.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

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NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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