I suck at online but have a high gamerscore

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Dick in your vagina fuck cock cunt shit

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I'm on the ABC diet. The ABC stands for: Americans British Chinese I eat humans.

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What's the difference between a lawyer and a catfish? One is a human profession, and the other is a type of fish.

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what do you call a seagull that flies over the bay? -a seagull

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Why are old people such terrible drivers? As we age, our eyesight slowly deteriorates and our reflexes become slower. So, in order to be cautious, the elderly avoid high speed chases and such to maintain their and others safety. Or they could have alzheimers and not realize they are in a moving vehicle at all, it's really a tossup

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What's the difference between a Obama and a drug-dealer? Obama is the president and a drug-dealer has lost his life to the awful streets.

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Why did the n i g g e r steal money? because he was black! and wanted a KFC thanksgiving! :)

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Q:What does a virgin and a penny both have in common? A:Guys don't want them.

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What's green, has 4 legs and can kill you if lands on your head? a pool table.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? The cognitive capacity of the chicken is significantly underdeveloped in comparison to humans; thus, comprehending a chicken's motives is impossible. Furthermore, interspecies communication is largely understudied - a mysterious division of science that may never be fully revealed. Therefore, one could safely theorize that no single human could breach this gap in communication differences (assuming chickens do, in fact, communicate) and in turn, could not understand the chicken's reasoning behind its choice to cross the road (excluding the possibility of psychic connections between chickens and humans [see 'Dog Whisperer' for a more clear explanation on interspecial psychic relations]) That being said, the only scientific and logical way one could understand the aforementioned question is through observation. For example, perhaps food was located on the other side of the road. However, this seems to pose a plethora of other questions: Why was the chicken near a road and not in a coop stocked with adequate food? Was this a wild chicken? Are there wild chickens? Do wild chickens often cross roads? Are wild chickens dangerous? If so, why hasn't there been warnings about dangerous, wild chickens crossing roads? The answer to these questions may never be discovered or explained.

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Roses are Red Violets are Blue No they're not They're purple

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Roses are red, Violets are blue. Some poems rhyme, but this one doesn't.

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Hey I just met you And this is crazy But I didn't use protection So here's your baby

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Why did Susie fall off the swingset? Because she had no arms. Knock knock. Who's there? Not Susie.

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How do you stop a black man from drowning? Take your fott off his head.

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A man goes to the doctor. The doctor says: both your legs are broken in 10 places, you will never walk again.

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why are jews so cash hungry? because like the rest of us they are looking for a way to survive and feed their family.

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What did the father say to his gay son? "Finish your homework."

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What's brown and sticky? A stick. What's white and sticky? A stick painted white.

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what do you call a redneck virgin? a seven year old that can run faster than her brothers.

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Why did the girl fall off the swing Because she had no arms

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What did the poor family eat for thanksgiving? Food

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Q: Why did the Westboro Baptist Church picket the gay marine’s funeral? A: Homosexuals are a plague sent by Satan to destroy the fabric of America.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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